The waiter asks, “What will you have today?”
“White wine, and a salad.” “White wine and a salad, also.” “White wine! And a salad!”
The conversation starts and Amanda says, “Why don’t you tell us a little about your life, Stacey?”
Stacey says, “It’s amazing! I’m married to an international businessman and we travel all over the world in our own 747! We have a home in Paris, we have a home in Palm Springs, we take our yacht to Saint-Tropez. Last week we were with the Kardsashians and I think Kim is one of the sweetest people I’ve ever met! What about you, Amanda?”
“Well, much like you, Stacey. I’m married to an international heart surgeon and we travel the world in our 747. We have a home in London, a home in Miami, and I shop on Rodeo Drive. Last week we were with the Obamas and I think Michelle is the sweetest person I’ve ever met!”
And there sat Hilda. “What about you girl, what’s your life been like?”
“Well nothing like yours. I just married old Joe Jones out of college and we live in a really nice double-wide just out of town. He cuts meat down at the grocery store and we went to Six Flags last year and the kids were really excited about that.”
“Hilda, what happened? You were everything in college! You were the cheerleading captain, you dated the quarterback of the football team – isn’t there anything extraordinary about your life?”
“The only thing I can think of is that when Joe gets sexually aroused and has an erection [Hilda lifts a finger and points with her other hand] we can put 13 parrots on there, like this.”
Amanda wrinkled her brow, looked over her glasses and said, “How many?” “13 parrots.”
Hmm.
They keep drinking white wine and talking and the truth starts to come out. Stacey says, “Guys I got to level with you. I lied earlier. My husband isn’t an international businessman, he’s a real estate agent and we live in Tulsa, Oklahoma. We got to go to Dollywood last years and the kids were real excited about that.”
Amanda said, “Guys, I lied, too. My husband isn’t a heart surgeon, he sells insurance where we live, in Topeka, Kansas. We went to Branson last year on vacation and that was kind of fun.”
Stacey said, “Hilda, thank you for being so honest with us earlier, but is there ANYTHING you might have exaggerated about your life?”
Hilda said, “Well, sometimes, [points at tip of finger] when we put that 13th parrot right there on the end, it has to flap its wings to stay on!”