When He shows Up His A New Bike

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girl on her bike came up to me
started taking off her clothes

and said ‘its all yours’ so I
just took the bike” he said.

His friend replied “Good choice
bro the clothes probably didn’t even fit you”

When Donald Proves He is Smart

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‘My son, I am old and don’t have many years left, you have more years ahead so I will sacrifice my life and let you have the last parachute.’

The little boy said, ‘That’s okay, Your Holiness, there’s a parachute left for you. America ‘s smartest President took my schoolbag…

Edit : Thank you for the rewards and upvotes !

When He Finds out His Wife is Pr0stitute… And

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when he got up off his towel, climbed up to the 30-foot high board and did a two-and-a-half-tuck gainer, entering the water perfectly, almost without a ripple. This was followed by three rotations in jack-knife position before he again straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on his towel.

She said, “That was incredible.”

He said, “I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we’d learn more about ourselves as we went along.”

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. She was moving so fast that the ripples from her pushing off at one end of the pool would hardly be gone before she was already touching the other end of the pool. After about thirty laps, completed in mere minutes, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel, barely breathing hard.

He said, “That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?”

“No,” she said, “I was a prostitute in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal.”

When man hire a Ho0ker from casino..

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His friend interrupts, “What? That’s an expensive blowjob. And $150 for the pussy?”

The guy says, “well, turns out it was actually a dude so no pussy. I was horny as hell, so $150 for anal.”

His friend says, “Wow, was it worth it?”

He responds, “Yeah. It was great. My asshole still
hurts a lot but completely worth it. “

When Johnny Must Be savage

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h‌‌ow m‌‌any w‌‌ould y‌‌ou h‌‌ave?”
J‌‌ohnny: “‌‌Seven!”
T‌‌eacher: “‌‌Johnny, w‌‌here i‌‌n t‌‌he h‌‌eck d‌‌o y‌‌ou g‌‌et s‌‌even f‌‌rom?!”
J‌‌ohnny: “‌‌Because I‌‌’ve a‌‌lready g‌‌ot a‌‌ f‌‌reaking c‌‌at!”

When Little Johnny learns a lesson about karma…

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Johnny plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again.
The neighbor says, “be nice Johnny or karma will get you.”
Johnny again plays nice for a bit but starts getting rough again.
Suddenly the Mom comes running over and nips little Johnny.
The neighbor says, “what did you learn John

When Dirty Hippie Entered in Shop

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The clerk, somewhat used to sights such as this, nodded hello, then said, “It looks like you lost a shoe.”
The naked guy said, “Huh?”
The clerk pointed down at the fellow’s feet. “You lost a shoe.”
The hippie slowly moved his bloodshot gaze down towards the floor.
After staring silently at his feet for several seconds, he looked back up and spoke to the clerk.
“No I didn’t. I found one.”

When Einstein Became Driver

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while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
“Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver reply to it for me.”

When Man Can’t Afford B1G Breasts

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A man saw a lady with big breasts. He asked, “Excuse me, can I bite your breasts for $1000?” She agrees, so they go to a secluded corner. She opens her blouse and the man puts his face in her breasts for 10 minutes.” Eventually the lady asks, “Aren’t you gonna bite them?” He replies, “No, it’s too expensive.”