the beautiful woman.
To which the man replied, “Because
every time I talk to a beautiful
woman my wife appears out of nowhere.”
Man Approaches a Very Beautiful Woman
Difference Between a Relationship & Video Game
the end without breaking,
everyone is shocked.
A Matter Of Punctuation
without her man, is nothing.”
The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”
I Accidentally Overturned a Golf Cart
I’ll help you
get the cart up later.”
“That’s mighty nice of you,” I answered, “but I don’t think my wife would like it.”
“Oh, come on now,” Elizabeth insisted.
She was so very pretty, very very sexy and very persuasive … I was weak. “Well okay,” I finally agreed but thought to myself, “my wife won’t like it.”
After a couple of restorative Scotch and waters, I thanked Elizabeth. “I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be really upset. So I’d best go now.”
“Don’t be silly!” Elizabeth said with a smile, letting her robe fall open slightly. “She won’t know anything. By the way, where is she?”
“Still under the cart, I guess.”
Albert Einstein Become Driver
know anything about science, I could give the conference in your place.”
“That’s a great idea!” says Einstein. “Let’s switch places then!”
So they switch clothes and as soon as they arrive, the driver dressed as Einstein goes on stage and starts giving the usual speech, while the real Einstein, dressed as the car driver, attends it.
But in the crowd, there is one scientist who wants to impress everyone and thinks of a very difficult question to ask Einstein, hoping he won’t be able to respond. So this guy stands up and interrupts the conference by posing his very difficult question. The whole room goes silent, holding their breath, waiting for the response.
The driver looks at him, dead in the eye, and says :
“Sir, your question is so easy to answer that I’m going to let my driver reply to it for me.”
A Bear Walks into a Restaurant
“Whaddya mean?” the bear
replies. “I’m a bear!”
Two Cows in Field
I heard it hit some cows down
on the Johnson Farm.”
The other cow replies, “I ain’t
worried, it don’t affect us ducks.”
On The Way of My Childhood Home
and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
What Wife Asked to Waiter
he explained. “We just
tell them they’re going to die.”
The Talking Tree
a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
Bad girl and her Grandmother
were there passing out free oranges and she was just lining up for some.
“Why, that’s awfully nice of them. I think I’ll get some for myself,” and she proceeded to the back of the line.
A policeman was going down the line asking for information from all of the prostitutes.
When he got to Grandma, he was bewildered and exclaimed, “Wow, still going at it at your age? How do you do it?”
Grandma replied,
“Oh, it’s easy, dear. I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back and suck them dry.”
Woman on Floor
“Because I want to feel something
hard for a change.”
We do Not Want Children
and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Man in Magic Forest
“You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
Couple on Sofa
racehorse I put a bet on a few days ago’. Satisfied, the wife apologised to her husband.
Several days later the husband is lounging on the sofa when his wife comes up behind him and snacks him over the head.
‘WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?’, he roared, leaping up and holding his head in pain.
The wife tossed the phone at him and said ‘Your horse called’.