Little Johnny is Watching his Dad Shave

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dad replied ” uh coats and hats.” Oh next thing he know he sees his dad jumping around the the bathroom yelling ” f*cking, fuck,f*ck,f*ck” ” what does that mean dad?” And his dad yells ” cut Johnny, it means cut!!!” Oh. Next week is Thanksgiving and the doorbell rings and Johnny answers it and says ” Hey bitches and asses, hang your d*cks and p*ssies here, dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey.

The Trouble of Flying Your Dog

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kennel needed to be large enough for the dog to stand up, sit down, turn around, and roll over.
The customer was perplexed: “I’ll never be able to teach him all of that by tomorrow!”
(via gcfl.net)

Whose Pet is Smarter

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I get out of bed.” “I know,” says
the second owner. “How do you know?”
the first demands. “My dog told me.”
From the book Laughter: The Best Medicine

Evils of Alcohol

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up and died. “All right, son,”
asked the father, “what does that show you?”
“Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol,
you will not have worms.”