
Me: “The electricity company and
the water company.”
Me: “The electricity company and
the water company.”
annoyed by his complaining that it beat the man to death.
At the funeral the rest of the village lined up to speak to the woman.
She would nod her head to all the men that spoke to her, and shake her
head no to all the women. Afterwards the priest spoke to her:
“Why did you shake your head yes to the men and no to the women?”
She replied:
“The men all gave their condolences, so I nodded my head yes to thank
them politely. The women all asked if the mule was for sale.”
She looked up and noticed that a man her age had walked up, placed his blanket on the sand nearby and began reading a book.
Smiling, she attempted to strike up a conversation with him. “Hello, sir, how are you?”
“Fine, thank you,” he responded, and turned back to his book.
“I love the beach. Do you come here often?” she asked.
“First time since my wife passed away last year,” he replied, and again turned back to his book.
“Do you live around here?” she asked.
“Yes, I live over in Suntree,” he answered, and then resumed reading.
Trying to find a topic of common interest, Sarah persisted. “Do you like pussycats?”
With that, the man threw his book down, jumped off his blanket onto hers, tore off both their swimsuits and gave her the most passionate ride of her life!
As the cloud of sand began to settle, Sarah gasped and asked the man, “How did you know that was what I wanted?”
The man replied, “How did you know my name was Katz?”
After a while the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months it turned into a beautiful healthy plant. So we took the plant, dried it, smoked it and got so high that we forgot to wear a condom.
The wife was very upset at first but after thinking about it said “I guess 3 times in 30 years is really not that bad! Oh by the way what is the $2000 in the drawer.
The husband replied” Well every time I got to a dozen balls I sold them.
She’s there at 6:30 am. sharp and beats all of them with an eye-opening 2-under par round.
She’s fun and pleasant and the guys are impressed.
They congratulate her and invite her back the next week.
She smiles, and says,”I’ll be there at 6:30, or 6:45.”
The next week she again shows up at 6:30 sharp.
Only this time, she plays left-handed.
The three guys are incredulous as she still beats them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand.
They’re totally amazed.
They can’t figure her out.
She’s very pleasant and a gracious winner.
They invite her back again, but each man harbors a burning desire to beat her.
The third week, she’s 15 minutes late, which irritates the guys.
This week she plays right-handed and narrowly beats all three of them.
The men grumble that her late arrival is petty gamesmanship on her part.
However, she’s so charming and complimentary of their strong play, they can’t hold a grudge.
This woman is a riddle no one can figure out.
They have a couple of beers in the Clubhouse and finally, one of the men asks her, “How do you decide if you’re going to golf right-handed or left-handed?”
The lady blushes, and grins. “When my dad taught me to play golf, I learned that I was ambidextrous.” she replies. “I like to switch back and forth.”
“When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I leave in the morning for golf practice, I pull the covers off him. If his willie points to the right, I golf right-handed; if it points to the left, I golf left-handed.”
The guys think this is hysterical.
Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys says, “What if it’s pointing straight up?”
She says, “Then, I’m fifteen minutes late.”
Ramon Airport also known as Eilat Ramon airport is the second largest airport of Israel. Named after Illan and Assaf Ramon the airport is located in Timna Valley. Airport has been opened for civilian traffic from January 2019. The airport have extra ramp space and also the longer runway than the previous airport at Eilat, which is enough for larger aircraft to land and park. In this article we will cover all the information regarding the airport which will include ramon airport departures, ramon airport arrivals, how to travel from london to ramon airport, ramon airport code, ramon airport Shuttle service and also cover the international flights that runs from the airport.
IATA Code | ETM |
---|---|
Address | Be’er Ora, Israel |
Operational since | 2019 |
Phone | +972 8-955-3888 |
When you get off the plane at Ramon-Eilat airport you will head towards arrivals terminals where you can find various facilities such as:
The desk is located exactly opposite to the entrance of the Welcome Hall where you can get to gate 33 and gate 34. You can get your currency exchanged and get the local currency of Israel which will be helpful in travelling around the country.
If you are reaching Ramon airport arrivals from international flight you may need to go through customs checks which you may have purchased from duty free stores abroad. The value of purchased goods from foreign land must not exceed $200. The goods can include 1 litre of alcohol, 1 packet of tobacco, 2 litres of wine and 250 ml of perfume. These goods are free of tax as they are being purchased from duty free stores.
You will find an ATM at right side of gate 33, 34.
The airport is located 19 km north of Eilat Town. There is a junction at Road 90 from where you leave and enter the Airport. opposite to the village Beera Ora. You can use ramon airport shuttle to leave the airport or hire a private taxi.
When you arrive at the airport there are separate desk for Israeli passport holders and foreign passport holder. Both passengers need to go through the designated desk or the biometric passport station which is necessary to get a blue ticket for entry into the country of Israel.
The Wifi service at the airport is provided by Netvision Ltd which is free of cost and available to all passengers in Ramon Airport.
The flight representative of the airlines by which you reached Ramon Airport Arrivals will bring the passengers luggage to Luggage Collection Hall where you can take your luggage.
If your luggage is lost during transit, here are the points to keep in mind:
Most of the lost items at the airport are kept at the office of Terminal Manager who can be contacted by email at rlostandfound@iaa.co.il
The office is located at Welcome Hall located on gates 33, 34 which is also called The Ministry of Tourism Service Desk.
In case of medical emergencies if you need any first aid then you can go to Welcome hall facing gates 33, 34 where there is “The First Aid Point.
These are all the facilities and the services you may need when you reach at Ramon Airport Arrivals.
If you are leaving from Ramon Airport you need to reach at Ramon Airport Departures. There may be some formalities that are needed to be completed when boarding a flight enroute to your destination. So let’s get into the details and know about the departures at Ramon International Airport.
When you need to reach the airport from Eilat you can hire a private service, or reach by car or you can use Ramon Airport Shuttle Service. Car Parking is located in front of the terminal at the airport. taxi ride from Eilat to Airport will costs 84 NIS or 95 NIS.
There are self service check in desks at the airport for passengers carrying only hand bags which can save the time of the passengers, but it also depends upon airlines policy. These desks are located at gate 31 and 32 to the left of entry gates to the halls.
You need to bring valid documents at the security check of the airport for domestic flights which includes:
Children under the age of 16 need to carry valid photocopy of their parent’s id
For International Flights you need to carry your passport and boarding pass before check-in.
When you travel outside israel you cannot carry more than 50,000 NIS cash and if you have equivalent or more cash you have to declare it to Custom Desks which is at left of Border control in departures hall.
If you are travelling abroad from the country you can shop at duty free shops at Ramon Airport by showing the ticket of your international flight. The passengers cannot directly carry those goods and are handed over to them only when they board the plane.
After the security questioning and getting boarding pass passengers have to go through hand luggage checking area. Some of the points to be noted are:
After that there is also the baggage check at the Airport. If you are carrying luggage more than permissible amount as per your airlines guidelines passengers get their outsize luggage with label to their destinations. Such passenger need to go to outsize luggage security check which is located to the left of check-in desks.
If you are travelling in international flight you need to go through passport checks or the biometric stations located at the airport. Passengers are advised to check the visiting guidelines for the country they are travelling as there might be some restrictions and rules which you might not be aware of.
The charging points can be found at the seats in Departure Terminal which is at -1 level near to the exit gates.
The Lounge at Ramon Airport Departures is managed by Eurohandling Ltd, located at lower level of Departure Hall opposite to exit gate 1.
As the Ramon Airport is located 19 km north from the town of Eilat, you will require some services to reach the airport from the city and vice versa. The Ramon Airport Shuttle Service is managed by Egged Bus Company which is a public transport from the airport. The routes covered by the buses are described below in the table.
Ramon Airport Shuttle | |
Route | Route Description |
Route Number 30 | Central Bus Station Eilat to Ramon Airport |
Route Number 31 | Northern District to Ramon Airport |
Route Number 32 | Southern District to Ramon Airport |
Route Number 50 | Ramon Airport to Tabe via Hotels |
You can take these buses from the Airport at the exit of Arrivals area at the right side. There is also an information desk for Egged Bus Service which will guide for the possible routes, bus timings, schedules and ticket prices.
You can buy a “Rav-Kav” smart card which can be directly bought from the bus driver at the cost of 50 NIS. The Ramon Airport is included in this route and you can buy a ticket for one direction that is airport to the city by paying 4.20 NIS.
When you are going airport by your own car to drop someone, you need airport parking to park your car. The Ramon Airport Parking is available at the front of the terminal. The vehicles are parked at “Basmat Parking ” which is located opposite to gates 32 and 33.
Here is the Ramon Airport Parking pricing below:
You can also call parking helpline or the Parking Lot Authority for more information at this number 03-9752550.
The car rental services at Ramon Airport are provided by world class car rental operators which includes Sixt, Europcars and Budget which can be booked online before your arrival at the airport.
The taxi at the airport are the best mode of transportation. You can hire a taxi at the ramon airport for the following price which depends upon the timing.
Private transfers are made available by a company named Flo shuttle. Its fleet consists of all car sizes, including vans, sedans, minibuses and buses (some on request, or as per demand)
There are various airlines providing their service at Eilat Ramon Airport. Many domestic and international carriers are providing their services to the foreign destinations across the world. The operators running international flights along with their locations are listed below in the table:
Operators | Destinations |
---|---|
RYANAIR | Bden-baden, Bratislava, Berlin-Schonefeld, Dusseldorf-Weeze, Budapest, Gdansk, Frankfurt-Hahn, Krakow,Poznan, Milan-Bergamo, Prague, Kaunas,Warsaw |
Lufthansa | Munich, Frankfurt |
Wizz | London, Luton, Budapest, Bucharest, Riga, Vienna, Warsaw, Sofia |
Transavia | Amsterdam, Paris |
URAL Airlines | St Petersburg, Moscow |
AirEuropa | Madrid |
FINNAIR | Helsinki |
Edelweiss | Zurich |
WizzAir and RyanAir are the low cost airlines that are operating from ramon international Airport.
There are many flight operators running their daily flights from the United Kingdom to Ramon International Airport. We have mentioned the starting fare from the major destinations of United Kingdom. Here is the table depicting fares from the cities from where there is a flight to Eilat International Airport.
From | Fare Starts From |
---|---|
Glasgow | £352 |
Doncaster | £270 |
Cardiff | £419 |
Liverpool | £309 |
Newcastle | £490 |
Nottingham | £359 |
Durham | £508 |
Edinburgh | £267 |
Manchester | 206 |
Birmingham | £167 |
London | £101 |
Belfast | £215 |
Product Name | Jio Media Cable |
---|---|
Price | Rs 1,499 |
Launch Date | February 2019 (Expected) |
Availability | Offline Jio Stores, Online Jio Website, and other eCommerce websites link Amazon, Flipkart, Paytm mall, snapdeal |
Adapter Ports | USB + HDMI, USB + RCA |
CRT Television support | Yes |
LCD / LED Television support | Yes |
Cable Type | Wired |
Cable length | 40 cm or 400 mm |
Jio Media Box | One Jio adapter, wired cable, manual |
Variants | First variant – HDMI Second variant – RCA |
Variant Box Color | HDMI Variant – Red RCA variant – Blue |
Box code | HDMI Variant – M533 RCA variant – M532 |
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3. Jio media cable sasti bhai hai or budget me bhi ati hai.
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Son: “My math teacher is crazy”. Mother: “Why?” Son: “Yesterday she told us that five is 4+1; today she is telling us that five is 3 + 2.”
swallow it until he either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.
The woman says: “Doctor that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband started
losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and he calmed right down!
How does a glass of water do that?”
The Doctor says: “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick…”
them. Her husband confused looks
down and goes, “What’s that for?”
His wife replies, “For the
flowers of course.”
He thinks for a moment and
asks, “Don’t we have a vase?”
There was an island with three kingdoms on it. Let’s call them A, B and C. The island had a fresh water lake on it and the lake itself had an island. The three kingdoms always kept fighting over this island.
One day the three kingdoms decided to settle this dispute once it for all and sent small portions of their armies. Kingdom A sent 15 knights and 25 squires; kingdom B send 20 knights and 25 squires and Kingdom C sent one knight and one squire.
The knights decided among themselves that this fighting was beneath them and decided to let the squires settle things by themselves. While the squires of Kingdom A and Kingdom B were warming up, the squire of Kingdom C erected a tall pole, tied a noose to it and hung a pot in the noose.
When they actually started fighting, the squire of kingdom C was able to successfully fight off all the other squires, because the squire of the high-pot-and-noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.