Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor
What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.
From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.
No Need To Pay For Animals
The panda throws the dictionary back at the prostitute and tells her to look up ‘panda.’
The definition reads: ‘An animal that eats bushes, shoots, and leaves’
When three women went to the heaven
“Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!” The next day, the second woman steps accidentally on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing.
With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman. The third woman has observed all this and not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks. And then one day St.Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on – Very tall, long eyelashes.and muscular. St.
Peter chains them together without saying a word. The happy woman says. “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?” The guy says. “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”
Men will be Men
Wife left a note on the fridge it says “I have made all attempts. It’s not working, I can’t take it anymore. I am going to stay at my mom’s place!!”
Husband open the fridge, checks the beer bottle. Feels it is chilled
Then says to himself, “What the hell is she talking about???
Fridge is working fine!!”
Top 5 Royal Enfield Open Face Helmets
Open Face Tan Helmet
This premium look inheriting beauty with a tan-finished body and neat stitching throughout the surface makes it one the most exclusive products from Royal Enfield. It weighs 950 grams which give its wearer a crown wearing feel with the ease of riding on his/her moving throne and it also is ISI and DOT certified. The inner lining is finished in tan-shade for the wearer’s comfort and the outer shell is leather- finished for a classic premium look. This classic vintage helmet looks like a total blizzard that will blow out everyone in the crowd except the one wearing it with a black leather jacket and a black Royal Enfield. And this amazing thing just comes at a price of 6500 INR. BUY IT HERE: https://amzn.to/2PP8JD8
Royal Enfield Metamorph
This multiple shells consisting open face helmet is a marvelous creation of the Royal Enfield which grants its wearer complete protection due to its built quality and its built-to-last materials. It provides its wearer a hassle-free bike ride and gives a superior experience and its built material provides the owner with a break from its maintenance chore.
Its size is 58cm and it has a unique morphing marble pattern on it which is created by the fusion of black and white ABS. Every single stock of it has a different design which means that if someone bought it then he/she is free from the word ‘jinx’. It has ISI(IS-4151) and dot (FMVSS no, 218) certificates. The quality materials by which it is made are fiberglass, carbon fiber, and ABS. It is of just 850 grams which is definitely not going to give its wearer a headache. It has an EPS internal liner which is made up of expanded polyester foam for comfort. It has a sturdy design and a stylish look which makes it picture perfect with any bike. And the price of this marvel is 2,900 INR. BUY IT HERE: https://www.amazon.in/Royal-Enfield-Metamorph-HEAW17004-.
Spirit Helmet
This one is of the same design as the open face helmet but it also has a full-face helmet feature, which is the full eye protection eye setup with a movable transparent visor. It’s visor also offers UV protection. It also has both the ISI and DOT certificates which ensures that the wearer will definitely have a safe and superior experience while riding on a bike wearing this helmet. And this one comes at a consistent price of 2700 INR. BYT IT HERE: https://amzn.to/2PMpUFa.
HEA150002 Open Face Helmet
HEA15002’s design is inspired by the cap-like extension that is seen on the headlight of the Royal Enfield motorcycles usually. In the comparison of other open face options, this one is also affordable and has the same level of protection as the others. It also has a variety of color options so that the consumer can have his/her most wanted color. BUY IT HERE: https://amzn.to/2A4VqcP.
Bobber Helmet Matt Black
This polyester and knit mesh’s comfort lined and single unit fiberglass shelled structure is beauty itself. Its inner safety liner is made from expanded polystyrene foam and there is a single stretched leather trim on the external of the shell. Its shell surface is hard coated and is treated with UV treatment for increased scratch resistance. This is a photo-perfect helmet with a comforting material fitted inside which makes its owner smile for spending money at the right thing. Though it is a bit heavy it does not make its wearer feel the weight due to its fitting material and it comes at a price of 2900 INR and it has both ISI and DOT certificates. BUY IT HERE: https://store.royalenfield.com/apps/fireamp/products/bobber-helmet-matt-black#
Wife or Angel
Two men were talking about their wives
The first man says: “My wife is an angel!”
The second man says: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
Cheat Wife On Bed
He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”
“You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wife. Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there.
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. One, two, three, four. Damn, you’re right.
What do you for Relief Around Here?
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. “But why?” they asked, as they moved off. “because,” he said “I can’t stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.”
when a couple celebrating 50th anniversary
Both don’t doubt for a moment …
an they take off their clothes. They sit back down on the table giggling.
The wife says “you know honey, even my nipples are just as hot as 50 years ago.”
No wonder, the man replies, one of them is hanging in your tea and the other one in your soup.
A Dirty Parrot forgot Aim When Wife Cheat
“Did anything happen today?” The parrot said,
“Yes, the milk man came over.” The man asked,
“What did he do with my wife?” The bird said,
“I don’t know; I got hard and fell.”
A 75 yr old Billionaire came to the Bar with
his gorgeous 25 yr old wife
said 58?”
Billionaire: “No! I told her I was 90”
One was My Wife and one was my Mistress
to walk up and ask if they can play through. About halfway towards them, he stops dead and turns around.
His partner says “why’d you stop?”
“Well when I got close, I realized one was my wife and one was my mistress.”
The other fellow decides to go inquire on behalf of the duo.
He, too, gets halfway, stops, and turns around.
As he comes back to his partner he says “small world…”
Forty-Five Year Old Lady
I have the breasts of a eighteen year old.” “Oh yeah?” quipped her husband, “What did he say about your forty-five year old a$$?” She said, “Your name never came up in the conversation