Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

pick up the money very fast he wouldn’t even have enough time to undressed himself.” So she agrees.
Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, “what happened?”
She responds, “The Bastard used coins I’m still picking and he is still f*cking!”

A woman walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist for arsenic. The pharmacist then asks what she needs it for, to which she replies: “I want to use it to poison my husband. The pharmacist says “Ma’am, I can not give you arsenic for that reason.” The woman then pulls a photograph from her purse and hands it to him. It was a picture of two people having sxx; the man in the photo was her husband and the woman was the pharmacist’s wife. He then says, “Oh I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had a prescription.”

Thailand and
seek a physician there instead. Upon examining the patient, the doctor said, “Ah… Very common. Bad doctor in your country just want money. No need cut.”

Relieved with tears of joy, the young man then asked, “How would you treat me then?”

Of which the Thai physician replied, “Dont worry! One more week. Dry. No more pain pain. It will drop off!”

he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his
position on the couch and slept for an hour.

This continued for several weeks. Curious,
I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your
dog comes to my house for a nap.” The next day

he arrived with a different note pinned to his
collar: “He lives in a home with four children —
he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”

The Sith and Mando laughs at
him saying he has a Bad Car.

The Sith having manipulated others
into giving him their wealth shows
off his McClaren F1. The patrons at

the bar are amazed and even the Jedi
has to admit it’s a nice ride. They both
end up saying it’s a Good Car.

The Mandalorian walks around
the corner and after a few
minutes comes screaming back

on his jet pack and blows
up the other cars. He
has the Beskar.

A man and a woman started to have sxx in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”. The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”

They said, “I’m afraid

it looks like she’s been hit by a bus.”

I said, “I know, but she has a lovely personality.”

swims under the ship, climbs up the davits and stands in front of the admiral and salutes.
The Russian says, “That, gentlemen, is courage.”
The American says, “That’s nothing.”
He calls over a PO and says, “I want you to jump off the bows. Swim under the ship to the stern and then return.”
The PO salutes, jumps off the bow, swims to the stern, and climbs back up to stand in front of the admiral and salutes.
The American says, “That, gentlemen, is courage.” The British admiral says, “That’s nothing. Sailor, come here.”
The matelot comes to attention and salutes.
The admiral says, “I want you to climb the highest mast on the carrier, jump off, swim under the boat from bow to
stern and then from beam to beam then climb up the mast and do it again.”
The matelot looks at the admiral and says, “You can fuck right off, sir!”
The admiral turns to the other two and says, “And that, gentlemen, is courage.”

Every Time I Talk To A Beautiful
Woman My Wife Appears Out Of Nowhere.”

ball when you aren’t looking?” “No,
I guess not” replied his wife. The man said….
“Neither would Clyde”

she would just go and live
with my brother too

“Yeah, it means the drain
is clogged again.”