What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.
From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.
he went to the door, and I let him out.
The next day he was back, resumed his
position on the couch and slept for an hour.
This continued for several weeks. Curious,
I pinned a note to his collar: “Every afternoon your
dog comes to my house for a nap.” The next day
he arrived with a different note pinned to his
collar: “He lives in a home with four children —
he’s trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”
The Sith and Mando laughs at
him saying he has a Bad Car.
The Sith having manipulated others
into giving him their wealth shows
off his McClaren F1. The patrons at
the bar are amazed and even the Jedi
has to admit it’s a nice ride. They both
end up saying it’s a Good Car.
The Mandalorian walks around
the corner and after a few
minutes comes screaming back
on his jet pack and blows
up the other cars. He
has the Beskar.
A man and a woman started to have sxx in the middle of a dark forest. After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, “Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”. The woman says, “Me too, you’ve been eating grass for the past ten minutes!”
They said, “I’m afraid
it looks like she’s been hit by a bus.”
I said, “I know, but she has a lovely personality.”
swims under the ship, climbs up the davits and stands in front of the admiral and salutes.
The Russian says, “That, gentlemen, is courage.”
The American says, “That’s nothing.”
He calls over a PO and says, “I want you to jump off the bows. Swim under the ship to the stern and then return.”
The PO salutes, jumps off the bow, swims to the stern, and climbs back up to stand in front of the admiral and salutes.
The American says, “That, gentlemen, is courage.” The British admiral says, “That’s nothing. Sailor, come here.”
The matelot comes to attention and salutes.
The admiral says, “I want you to climb the highest mast on the carrier, jump off, swim under the boat from bow to
stern and then from beam to beam then climb up the mast and do it again.”
The matelot looks at the admiral and says, “You can fuck right off, sir!”
The admiral turns to the other two and says, “And that, gentlemen, is courage.”
Every Time I Talk To A Beautiful
Woman My Wife Appears Out Of Nowhere.”
ball when you aren’t looking?” “No,
I guess not” replied his wife. The man said….
“Neither would Clyde”
she would just go and live
with my brother too
“Yeah, it means the drain
is clogged again.”
An elderly couple talk in the evening:
“Honey, I’m so sorry that I let out my anger at you so often. How do you manage to stay so calm with my foul moods?”
“I always go and clean the toilet when that happens.”
“And that helps?”
“Yes, because I’m using your toothbrush.”
gynaecologist decide they better get the father who was too squeamish to be in the delivery room.
So the father looks between his wife’s legs. The baby’s head pops out again. “Hey, you my dad?”
Father “Yes!”
Baby, “Well come here” and a tiny arm squeezes out, and starts to punch the top of the father’s
head nonstop while shouting “HOW…WOULD…YOU…LIKE…THIS…TO…HAPPEN…EVERY…NIGHT…OF…YOUR…LIFE”
She started talking to him, and tracing her fingers in the ashes, she said, “You know that fur coat you promised me Irving?”
She answered by saying, “I bought it with the insurance money!”
She then said, “Irving, remember that new car you promised me?”
She answered again saying, “Well, I bought it with the insurance money!”
Still tracing her finger in the ashes, she said, “Irving remember that blow job I promised you?
Here it comes …”
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles, and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds, the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
