Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.

From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.

Cinderella Wanted to Go Out

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the fairy godmother said. “I will get you to the ball. I will give you a cairrage, dress, and more.

But be warned, if you do not come back before 12:00 tonight, a pumpkin will grow inside your vagina.” Cinderella agreed, and happily jumped around her room.


Soon, she left for the ball. After a while, the clock struck 11:45 PM, and the fairy godmother was waiting in Cinderella’s room. Soon it struck 12 AM, then 1 AM, then 2 AM.

At around three, Cinderella came home. “So, your vagina doesn’t hurt?” The fairy godmother asked.

“Not at all!” Cinderella replied. “While I was at the ball, I met a man named Peter. Oh, how I loved Peter!”

The Sick Man

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ordinary guy,” he said to her, “but in just a few years, my father will die and I will inherit $200 million.”
Intrigued and impressed, the woman asked for his business card; three weeks later she became his stepmother.
Women are so much better at financial planning than men.

Double click on “My computer”

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Computer.. Ok. double click on it..
JACK:what the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..???
Officer:Double click on ur computer..
JACK:On which Icon i’ve to click..
Officer:“My Computer”..
JACK:…Oh u Idiot…… Tell me where is ur office…I’ll
come there and click on ur “Computer.

The Most Important Body Part

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The eyes said “I see everything and let the rest of you know where we are, so I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”
The hands said “Without me we wouldn’t be able to pick anything up or move anything. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”
The stomach said “I turn the food we eat into energy for the rest of you. Without me, we’d starve. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”
The legs said “Without me we wouldn’t be able to move anywhere. So I’m the most important and I should be in charge.”
Then the rectum said “I think I should be in charge.”
All the rest of the parts said “YOU? You don’t do anything! You’re not important! You can’t be in charge.”
So the rectum closed up. After a few days, the legs were all wobbly, the stomach was all queasy, the hands were all shaky, the eyes were all watery, and the brain was all cloudy.
They all agreed that they couldn’t take any more of this and agreed to put the rectum in charge.
The moral of the story: You don’t have to be the most important to be in charge, just an asshole.

The Cab Driver & St. Peter – Blunders

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is a preacher. St. Peter looks him up in his Big Book,
furrows his brow and says, “OK, we’ll let you in, but
take that cloth robe and wooden staff.”

The preacher is shocked and replies, “But I am a man of
the cloth. You gave that cab driver a gold staff and a
silk robe. Surely I rate higher than a cabbie!“

St. Peter responds matter-of-factly, “This is Heaven and up
here, we are interested in results. When you preached, people
slept. When the cabbie drove his taxi, people prayed.”

Finally Have a Heavy Twist

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. He then heads for the TV room but when he passes the guest room, he notices the door is ajar, noises coming from inside. He opens the door to look in and sees Granny on her hands and knees, little Johnny fucking her from behind. Dad screams. Johnny turns around looks at him and says “Yeah, not so funny when it’s your mom huh?”

When Teacher Ask. When Atimulated, Which Part of The Human Body Increases Ten Times Its Size

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Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”

Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”

The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”

Finally, Billy stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”

Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Billy,” then turned to Mary and continued.

“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”