Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

says he never cheated on his wife, he gets a 2021 Rolls Royce.
A few days later the 3 men meet and
the man in the Rolls Royce is very sad, the men ask him what’s wrong, he replies “
I just saw my wife riding around on a scooter.

catch me, you can have me.”
As soon as he sees her, she takes off running. He tries to catch her, but is unable. This continues for a week, at the end of which, the man has lost 10 pounds.

After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. The next morning an even more beautiful woman is standing at the door, in similar conditions.

The same happens with her as the first woman, except he almost catches her. This continues for a week, at the end of which he, as suspected, weighs 15 pounds less.

Excited about this success, he decides to do the master program. Before he signs up, he is required to sign a waiver and is warned about the intensity of this plan. Still he signs up.

The next morning, waiting at the door, is a hulking 300 pound muscle man with nothing but a pair of running shoes, a raging erection, and a sign around his neck that says, “If I catch you, you’re mine!” The man was supposed to lose 25 pounds in the week; he lost 34.

Morris called a press conference and tactfully laid the blame at the feet of the previous CEO. Satisfied with his comments, the press, and Wall Street, responded positively, sales began to pick up and the problem was soon behind him.

About a year later, the company was again experiencing a slight dip in sales, combined with serious product problems. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize.” This he did, and the company quickly rebounded.

After several consecutive profitable quarters, the company once again fell on difficult times. Morris went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, “Prepare three envelopes.”

A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped. “I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.” The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window. “Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl. “Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”

would happily exchange mine for smaller
b*obs, especially since I’m a dude.

seconds!” “Good,” replied his wife.
“Now you know how I always feel.”

Newlyweds wake up one morning on their honeymoon and the man suggests: “Darling, why don’t you brew us some coffee?”

Wife looks confused: “But that’s your task, honey.”

“What? Why?”

“It’s all over the Bible, dearest.”

“The Bible says nothing about who’s supposed to be brewing coffee!”

The wife grabs hold of a copy and starts flipping pages at random: “See? Everywhere: Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews.”

screaming in fear. He puts his clothes back on and chases behind her.
He finally catches up with her and asks why she ran like that.
She says, “I was afraid to be around all that dynamite after I saw how short the fuse was!”

and the man use the wood for making bed. Moral – A girl can change your goal.

care for you and that you will care for her, in sickness and in health.
It’s absolutely fucking vital that these three
women do not know each other.

school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, “Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike