What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.
From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.
“Teacher, can farts travel faster than the
speed of sound?” The teacher was taken aback
and asked, “What does that have to do with
using ‘definitely’ in a sentence?”
The boy replied, “Well, if you fart silently
and it doesn’t smell, you can definitely
sneak one past everyone without them even knowing.”
eyes. Then into its ears.
Finally, she turns to the girl and says,
“I’m very sorry. I’m going to have to put your cat down.”
“Oh no! Because he’s so fat?”
“Yes,” says the doctor. “My arms are very tired.”
forcing us to do bonding activities.
I guess you could call it ironic bonding.
problem and the other is making six figures
and going to Hawaii this weekend to renew his wedding vows with my mom.
“It’s simple” billionaire boasts…
“I faked my age”
“Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy…
she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?” A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds “85 years old”
he says to his wife.
“Oh my dear what is it?”
“Well first i got fired from work”
“Oh hon don’t worry, he who is up there shall provide for us”
“And i got into a car accident”
“Don’t worry, for he who is up there shall provide for us”
“And the fault was mine, and im not insured”
“Don’t worry my love, for he who is up there shall provide for us”
The first man hiding in the attic jumped out visibly furious.
“I ain’t providing nothin, how bout you tell the other guy under the bed to
provide huh?”
The woman demands a third time, “Doctor, I want you to kiss me!”
The doctor answers, “No! It’s unprofessional, highly unethical, and
to be honest we probably shouldn’t even be having romance right now!”
her she would find out tonight,” the guy laughs as he pulls out
a small, exquisitely wrapped package. “I got her a book, ‘The Meaning of Dreams.'”
following Valentine’s day, student council was asked to do clean up.
One of the students, however, decided to take all the heart cards, count, sort, and make an itemized list of who got the most Valentine’s cards.
Of course, the pretty and popular girls and guys were named the most but that made many of the other students upset. So much so that the student and their father were called to the principal’s office to discuss how inappropriate it was for the student to do this.
After the principal explained the situation, the student’s father relaxed in his chair, looked at the principal with a slight grin and said, “so you’ve called me here today just to tell me that most high school students don’t like statistics?”
which is weird because I thought she’d
be well cheesed off because I was
having to work.
Don’t know what the pistol
and the shovel are for though.
What did you do?” the bartender asks. “I just told
her I hadn’t planned on spending that much,” the guy replies
him a slice of cake – entirely free.
That man is like me. He’s lonely, but at least he
got some cake!
everything on her is fake, including her existence.
Happy Single’s Awareness Day, Reddit.