A man walks into a bar.

accepts his bet, and is shocked when the man
removes his glass eye and bites down on it.


Laughing, the man sees that the bartender is upset about losing his money, so he offers him a chance
to win it back. “Double or nothin’ says I can bite my other eye.”


The bartender thinks it over. He knows he was just tricked out of $50 but
he also knows that this man can’t possibly have two glass eyes,
so he pulls another $50 from the register and accepts the man’s bet.


The man promptly takes out his false teeth and gently
closes them around his other eye.


Now the bartender is visibly angry to have been had for $100, and the man’s laughter isn’t helping.
Just before he throws him out of his bar, the man puts his hand up.
“Real sorry about that, pal. I get people with that bit all the time, but you’ve
been a good sport, so I’ll give you another chance to win some cash. I’ve got…


$500 that says if you slide a shot glass down the bar top, I can run alongside of it and piss
into the glass without missing a drop.


This is kinda hard for me to do, though, so I think it’s fair if you give me two chances at it.”
The bartender, eager to win his money back from the man, thinks to himself
and realizes just how hard it would be for this man to piss into a shot glass while running at full speed.
Especially knowing he only has one eye to line up his shot.


After a minute of deliberation, he willingly accepts the bet. The man drops his pants
to his ankles and when the bartender puts the shot glass down on the counter,
shouts a resounding, “Go!” prompting the bartender to slide it along the bar top.


The man chases after it, holding his dick at an angle to properly aim it.
However, pissing while running at full speed isn’t easy,
so he only manages to get a couple of drops in the
glass by the time it reaches the other end.


Catching his breath, the man reminds the bartender he has a second try,
and that the first was simply to get his bearings straight. Once again, he shouts,
“Go!” giving the bartender his cue to send the shot glass back down the bar.


Once again, the man chases wildly after it, spraying piss all over the
bar top, stools, floor, and even hitting some of the bottles of liquor behind the bar.
However, not one drop of urine found it’s way into the shot glass.


Head hanging low, he hands the bartender $500, to which the bartender gleefully accepted,
jumping up and down in joy and cheering in victory at the cash he had just made.
All of a sudden, a man in the back of the bar slams his fist hard against his
table and screams “Fuck!” at the top of his lungs.


The bartender mutters aloud, “I wonder what his problem is.”
To which the man replies, “Oh, I just bet that guy $10,000 that
I could piss all over your bar and you’d be so happy about it you
jumped up and down with joy.”

Cheat Wife Jokes

The husband put his gun to the man’s head, and the wife shouted, ‘Don’t do it, this man has been very generous. Who do you think paid for the Corvette I said I bought for you and who do you think paid for our new boat…
he did!’ The husband, looked over at the cab driver, and said, ‘What would you do in a case like this?’ The cabbie smiled, and said,

Nurse Explain Orgasm

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does during an orgasm. “Sure!” she says, “He’s at home taking care of the kids..”

Wife is Always Lucky

Woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear,” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. “I think you’re bad luck…”

Jio DTH Connection – Price & Online Booking Details

Jio DTH Connection – Price & Online Booking Details
Picture Quality SD, HD, 4K
Total Channels 432 Standard
Welcome Offer First 3 Month Free
Set Top Box Price Approx Rs. 1800
Basic Plan Price Rs. 49 – Rs. 250
Installation Fee Free Standard
Band Frequency Range 12 to 18 GHz
Internet Connectivity Yes, Confirmed
Launch Date 15 May (Approx)
Regional Language Yes, 15
HDMI Output Port Available
Digital Dolby Sound 5.1 Surround
Pause Live TV Yes, Available

Reliance Jio will add another feather to its cap by launching the DTH connection along with Jio Fiber. This DTH service will also be called Jio Home TV and will be available with a very cheap and affordable set top box. It is said that Jio Home TV will have Enhanced Multimedia Broadcast Multicast Service (eMBMS) technology.

Since the launch of Jio Fiber is being delayed, reason being, it is a mammoth project plus some issues with the governmental authorities. Therefore, Reliance Jio, for the time being has shifted its focus towards setting up Jio DTH services.

The Jio DTH set top box does not need a broadband connection, it just requires the interested users to get themselves registered by filling in all their required details. The Jio DTH connection will be much cheaper and will be available at very reasonable rates than the other high cost DTH connections. So, customers thinking of dumping their current digital TV connections can surely replace them with the amazing Jio Home TV DTH connection.

Below are given some major details about Jio DTH aka Jio Home TV:
Launch Date: Diwali 2018 (tentative)
Installation charges: ₹1000
HD Channels: 50 HD channels can be viewed
Free Subscription: Yes, Jio DTH will offer free subscription for three months like the rest of the Reliance Jio services.
Current Status: Beta testing phase
Standard Definition Channels Price/Package: ₹200
High Definition Channels Price/Package: ₹400

JIO DTH Pack Name Expected Price in Rupees
Normal Pack 49 to 55
All Spots Channels (in HD) 60 to 69
Value Prime Channels 120 to 150
Kids Channels 188 to 190
My Family Pack 200 to 250
My Plan 50 to 54
MY Sports 159 to 169
Big Ultra Pack 199 to 220
Metro Pack 199 to 250
Dhoom 99 to 109

This information was leaked out sometime ago and there has been no official confirmation released by Mukesh Ambani as yet, but, it is expected that Jio DTH and Jio Fiber will be available with these packages/plans by the end of this year.

It requires great time and effort to bring to reality such big projects, but Reliance Jio has been doing this task in the past years. So, customers waiting for the official release of Jio’s broadband and digital TV services need to have some patience and trust upon the Reliance Jio engineers for they will provide them with the best technology ever used in India.

Divorce is Always Costly

ohn asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”

A Harvard Law graduate starts first day on the job

picture, and
she’s hideous. The guy’s never seen anything like her.

The president says, “I know, she’s tough to look at. I could never tell her to her face, though. Also, it’s only fair to let you know she’s as dumb as a stump.”

The guy says, “Well, I don’t care what you offer me, it ain’t worth it.”

The president says, “I’ll give you a five million dollar salary, a new Mercedes every two years, and I’ll build you a mansion on Long Island.” The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when they have sex.

About a year later, the guy buys an original Van Gogh and he’s about to hang it on the wall. He climbs the ladder and yells to his wife, “Bring me a hammer.”

She mumbles, “Get the hammer. Get the hammer,” and she brings it to him.

The guy says, “Get me some nails.”

She mumbles, “Get the nails. Get the nails,” and she brings them to him.

The guy starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his thumb, and he yells, “Fuck!”

She mumbles, “Get the bag. Get the bag.”