What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.
From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.
then asks the guy, “do you work around dyes or paints or anything like that?”
Guy says, “no.”
Doc asks, “Any chemicals or solvents?”
Guy says, “no doc, I don’t even have a job, all I ever do is sit around watching
pornos and eating Cheetos.”
Beside himself with shock and grief, he retreats down the steps, drops the box of chocolates and the flowers in defeat as his life flashes before his eyes.
His suicidal thoughts are interrupted by mattress testing getting louder.
He snaps, grabs a baseball bat and goes back into the bedroom.
There he goes to town on the love birds under the blankets, whacking until all movement stops.
A few minutes later, he is in his kitchen, contemplating ending himself, when his wife comes up from the basement.
“Hi baby,” she says. “I’m very happy to see you back early, but since you weren’t supposed to be here tonight and your parents showed up late, I hope you don’t mind I let them have our bedroom for the night. I’m pretty sure they’re still up, have you had a chance to say hello?”
out ten minutes later and says,
“You know? Your wife is better.”
gets the best of her so she asks the bartender to have the frog go down on her.
She gets up on the bar in the appropriate position and the bartender puts the
frog there and tells it to do its thing. The frog just sits there.
The bartender moves the frog to the side and says, “I’m only going to show you one more time!”
“Is there anything specific you’re
looking for?” “Yes,” said the
customer.
his friend, “we try to talk to girls, get them interested in us.
He does none of that, he just sits there entire evening, licking his eyebrows.”
Two blondes talk. One of them says:
– You know, I have cheated a taxi driver yesterday!!
Another asks:
– How did you do this?
The blonde replies:
– I paid, but I didn’t sit in.
Harvard and he’s so proud of it he never takes off his Harvard sweatshirt,
even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup.
As she takes off her blouse, he notices a blue ‘Y’ on her chest.
“How did you get that mark on your chest?” asks the doctor.
“Oh, my boyfriend went to Yale and he’s so proud of it that he never
takes off his Yale sweatshirt, even when we make love,” she replies.
A couple of days later, another girl comes in for a checkup.
As she takes off her blouse, he notices a green ‘M’ on her chest.
“Do you have a boyfriend at Michigan?” asks the doctor.
“No, but I have a girlfriend at Wisconsin, Why do you ask?”
a candidate who wants
to restore Firefly.
The Husband Replies, “Your Eyesight’s Damn Near Perfect.”
See, this was a joke about Descartes’ famous philosophical statement, “
I think, therefore I am.” I could have mentioned that at the beginning,
but that would have been putting Descartes before the horse.
Here you can have Product schema markup in JASON, you can use this schema markup for any product.
Where You can use this :Mobile, Air conditioner, LED, and many more electronic devices.
Where to put code: You can put this code in header file of your website.
Weight height and width these elements you can remove or add as per your requirements.
[ads]
<script type=”application/ld+json”> {
“@context”: “http://schema.org/”,
“@type”: “Product”,
“name”: “Name of Your Procuct”,
“description”: “Description of your product”,
“image”: “https://abc.com/phones/apple-iphone8-jpeg“,
“aggregateRating”: {
“@type”: “AggregateRating”,
“bestRating”: “5”,
“ratingCount”: “24”,
“ratingValue”: “4.5”
},
“offers”: {
“@type”: “Offer”,
“price”: 15000.00,
“priceCurrency”: “USD”,
“availability”: “InStock”
},
“Weight”: {
“@context”: “https://schema.org”,
“@type”: “QuantitativeValue”,
“value”: “2”,
“unitCode”: “Ton”
},
“height”: {
“@context”: “https://schema.org”,
“@type”: “QuantitativeValue”,
“value”: “340”,
“unitCode”: “mm”
},
“Width”: {
“@context”: “https://schema.org“,
“@type”: “QuantitativeValue”,
“value”: “25.4”,
“unitCode”: “mm”
},
“model”: [ {
“@type”: “ProductModel”,
“name”: “R410 Split Type”,
“Material”: “Inner Grooved Copper”
}
]
}
</script>
Table of Contents
Rafale jets are the twin-engine, medium multi-role combat aircrafts (MMRCA) developed and designed by the French aviation company, Dassault Aviation. The company defines Rafale as ‘Omnirole’ jets, meaning these jets are extremely versatile as they are capable of handling any kind of situation while being up in the air.
The Indian Air Force (IAF) urgently requires Rafale jets to strengthen its aircraft fleet. IAF needs 42 fighter squadrons while its real strength declined to 34 from 2002-2012 due to few jets being rendered as obsolete. Currently, the Indian Air Force has Sukhoi fighter jets and is in a dire need of adding more fighter jets to its current fleet, for which it moved a proposal back then in 2001 for the purchase of more jets.
Considering the need for fighter jets, the Vajpayee-led BJP government proposed the idea of purchasing 126 MMRCA’s. However, a formal Request for Proposal (RFP) was made only in 2007 during the reign of Manmohan Singh-led UPA-II government.
About six fighter aircraft manufacturing companies competed for the MRCA (Multi-Role Combat Aircraft) tender. These were: USA’s Lockheed Martin F-16 and Boeing F-18, Rafale jets by France’s Dassault Aviation, Russia’s Mikoyan MiG-35, Sweden’s Saab JAS Gripen and Germany’s Eurofighter Typhoon. Out of these 6, IAF (Indian Air Force) concluded that only Dassault Rafale and Eurofighter Typhoon meet the criteria required by the Air Force.
In 2012, Dassault came out to be the lowest bidder and finally bagged the tender in January 2012.
The main highlights of the Rafale deal during the UPA and the NDA governments are described as below:
Reliance Defence Ltd. is a private sector firm led by Anil Ambani. The French Aviation company, Dassault chose Reliance to be its Indian Industrial Partner. As a result, the Congress party accused the BJP government for favoring the Reliance Defence Company and choosing it over HAL. The UPA government made allegations against the NDA for benefiting ‘a businessman’.
Not only this, chairman of the Congress party, Rahul Gandhi tweeted asking the Indian Prime Minister about why were such massive changes made in the Rafale Deal. His tweets read,
“Can you explain Reliance on someone with nil experience in aerospace for Rafale deal?”
“Self ‘Reliance’ is obviously a critical aspect of ‘Make in India.”
To these allegations, Chairman of Reliance Defence, Anil Ambani, himself came forward and expressed his angst for all the false claims that were being made. He said that, the decision of Dassault entering in an agreement with Reliance Defence is purely a private decision and an agreement signed between two private enterprises. He also claimed that the Indian government has no role to play in their private agreement.
The leaders of the Congress party also made statements that Reliance Defence Ltd. has no expertise in the aerospace, to which Anil Ambani replied that they are the leaders in significant areas of defence manufacture. Ambani also gave a rebutting reply to Surjewala’s doubts about Reliance’s capability to make a significant contribution to the defence sector. He said that Reliance Defence has the largest shipyard located in Gujarat, is building 5 naval offshore patrol vessels for the Indian Navy and 14 fast patrol vessels for the Indian Coast Guard.
You can also read in Hindi : राफले डील यूपीए VS एनडीए
Ever since the Rafale Deal was signed by the then Defence Minister, Manohar Parikar with the necessary modifications made in the deal, the Congress party has been accusing the government for making a ₹50,000 crores scam by signing this deal. They have accused BJP and the PM Modi for hiding the real price that will be paid for each Rafale jet. To this the BJP replied that in interest of national security, they cannot reveal the prices and other confidential details regarding this deal.
To this comment, Rahul Gandhi tweeted this:
These are some of the claims being made by the Congress party criticizing the Modi government and holding them responsible for the loss of Transfer of Technology clause.
The present Indian Defence Minister, Nirmala Sitharaman lashed out at the Congress party for making false allegations and asking for the details of such a crucial project. Here is what she said on behalf of BJP:
1. Sitharaman said that the BJP government in 2000 led by Vajpayee had realized the need for strengthening the fleet of Indian Air Force and took the first step by presenting the idea of purchasing 126 MMRCA’s and then the Congress came to power, and was unable to conclude the deal in its 10 years of long tenure. This she regarded has an ‘ACT OF OMMISSION’ decline in number of fighter jets left with IAF.
2. Congress alleged that PM Modi did not followed the rules and the procedure of getting the deal passed by Cabinet Committee on Security(CCS) and without even having a detailed discussion with his Defence Minister announced during his visit to the French capital that India will purchase 36 off the shelf fighter jets from Dassault. To this Sitharaman replied, that the PM followed the due process of getting a clean chit from CCS before making this announcement.
3. To UPA’s accusation about removing the Transfer of Technology clause from the Rafale Deal Sitharaman said, that it is a case of simple economics. She said it would obviously have been economical to make 108 out of 126 Rafales in India, but when the deal has already been delayed for almost a decade, then in that case, Transfer of Technology for making 36 aircrafts does not makes sense, in fact, the Indian government wants to add the fighter jets to the existing IAF fleet as soon as possible.
4. Countering the next allegation made by UPA that PM Modi has signed the deal for the benefit of Anil Ambani; Defence Minister said that if two private entities want to sign an agreement with each other they do not requires the government’s permission to do so. Even a French delegation refuted the claims of Congress.
5. The UPA also made claims that they had zeroed in on the deal with far better clauses and a better price that the NDA government has settled. To this, Sitharaman replied that they have got a far less price than the UPA with additional benefits of logistical support and weaponry.
The Indian Air Force Chief BS Dhanoa had said that the technology might not be going to the HAL but it is definitely coming to DRDO and to a lot of Indians. He also said that the Indian Government had negotiated a good deal.
But it should also be kept in mind that the CCS permission was not sought before announcing the Rafale deal in Paris. The deal finalsed during UPA’s reign did not have the logistical support and other weaponry that has been included in the deal signed by NDA. But again the Transfer of Technology clause had to be removed by the government.
Therefore, both the deals had their own positives and negatives but still the IAF can take a sigh of relief as the first batch of Rafale fighter jets will finally arrive in September 2019. The nation is eagerly awaiting the delivery of these brilliantly unique aircrafts.
Recent Statements by Nirmala Sitharaman
Air Force chief BS Dhanoa defended the Rafael Deal, saying – HAL delays the delivery schedule of Sukhoi, LCA and Jaguar
Supreme court to hear public interest petitions against Rafale deal on Wednesday.
The Supreme Court will hear on the public interest petition on the demand of handing over the details of the Raphael Agreement to the court in a closed envelope. Earlier, the court had fixed October 10 as the date of hearing on another PIL. The petition sought to ban the Rafale Deal.
Demanding intervention from the court, he says that in order to stop the criticisms, information about the agreement between the Indian government and the Dasu Aviation should be given at least to the court. In this way, the court can carefully examine that deal. Earlier, advocate ML Sharma had demanded a ban on the Rafale deal by filing a PIL.
Following are the takings from CAG Report analyzing Rafale Jets deal:
The CAG Report concludes that NDA signed the deal for 7.87 billion euros to be paid for 36 jets than what was negotiated by the UPA. The report questions NDA government’s argument that they got a 9% cheaper deal than the UPA. Even the 2.86% savings have been due to India specific enhancements.
Since there are only 36 fighter Rafale jets as per the current deal, the Indian Air Force will be able to fill only 02 squadrons with these many jets. This clearly implies that there is a shortfall of about 70% on defence procurement with this deal.
The CAG report states that the NDA – signed deal has a better delivery schedule as the Rafale jets are all set to arrive between September – October 2019. This implies that the first fighter aircraft will arrive one month prior as against the five months advance time period stated by NDA.
Though the Modi government claims that they have signed an inter – governmental pact with the French government but allegations are being made by the UPA that the ruling party has signed a direct deal with the French aviation company, Dassault. CAG report says that if there has been a breach of this agreement, then the Indian government will be solely responsible for any price issues or quality of aircrafts and will have to negotiate with the Dassault aviation on their own.
The following corruption charges are framed by the Congress against the BJP Government in the Rafale Deal controversy. Let us find the truth behind them:
