Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.

From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.

Jesus’ Teaching – The Parable of the Kind Stranger

by

In a small village, a weary traveler arrived late at night, hungry and without shelter. He knocked on many doors, but each one turned him away, saying they had no room or food to offer. Finally, he came to a humble house at the edge of the village, where an old woman lived alone.

Without hesitation, the woman welcomed the traveler inside. She offered him the last of her bread and gave him a place to rest. The next morning, the traveler thanked the woman, and as he left, he revealed himself to be an angel sent by Jesus to test the hearts of the villagers.

The old woman’s kindness was rewarded with an abundance of blessings. Her home was filled with food, and she was never in need again. The villagers, having learned of their missed opportunity, were reminded of Jesus’ teaching: “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”

1. The Lost Coin

A woman in a village had ten silver coins, each of great value. One day, she realized that she had lost one of the coins. Though she still had nine, she was deeply troubled by the loss of that single coin. She lit a lamp, swept her house, and searched carefully until she found it.

Overjoyed, she called her neighbors and said, “Rejoice with me; I have found my lost coin!”

In this parable, Jesus teaches that every soul is precious in the eyes of God. Just as the woman rejoiced over finding her lost coin, so does heaven rejoice when one sinner repents and returns to God.

2. The Good Samaritan

A man was traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho when he was attacked by robbers. They beat him, took everything he had, and left him lying half-dead by the roadside. A priest happened to be going down the same road, but when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. A Levite also came to the place, saw him, and passed by on the other side.

But a Samaritan, despised by others, came where the man was. When he saw him, he took pity on him. He bandaged his wounds, placed him on his own donkey, and brought him to an inn to take care of him. The next day, the Samaritan gave the innkeeper money and said, “Look after him, and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense.”

Through this parable, Jesus teaches us to love our neighbor as ourselves, showing kindness and compassion to all, regardless of their background or status.

3. The Wise and Foolish Builders

Two men set out to build their houses. The first man was wise and built his house on a solid rock. The second man, eager to finish quickly, built his house on sandy ground. When a storm came, the winds blew, and the rain poured down. The house built on the rock stood firm, but the house built on the sand collapsed with a great crash.

Jesus used this story to illustrate the importance of building our lives on a strong foundation—His teachings. Those who hear His words and put them into practice are like the wise man who built his house on the rock. But those who hear His words and ignore them are like the foolish man whose house could not withstand the storm.

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral

by

A huge heart-shaped mausoleum covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service.

Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.

At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter. When all eyes turned to him, he said, ‘I’m sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral! I’m a gynaecologist.’

Electrician and Monk

by

and I still can’t get it to work.”
The electrician examined the lamp, then nodded his head. “Well, this lamp has a built-in clapper, see?”

“‘Clapper?'” the novice repeated.

The electrician nodded again, then clapped his hands… and the novice was enlightened.

Dinner at a very Fine Restaurant

by

‘Oh,’ replies the husband, ‘that’s my mistress.’


‘Well, that’s the last straw,’ says the wife. ‘I’ve had enough, I want a divorce.’

‘I can understand that,’ replies her husband, ‘but remember, if we get a divorce it means that you don’t get any more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Ferraris and Lexus’s in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.’

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm.

‘Who’s that woman with Jim?’ asks the wife.

‘That’s his mistress,’ says her husband.

‘Ours is much prettier,’ she replies

The Country Farmer and Two City Men

by

The farmer nodded. “Sure thing, but I have to go inside to get the money.” With that, he disappeared inside.The driver’s companion said, “What are you planning to do?”“I’m giving him a ten,” snickered the driver. “I’ll mark up the zero to look like an eight. He’ll never know the difference.”The farmer reappeared with a battered wallet. He took the bill offered him with the barest glance and put it into his pocket. Then he looked up and said, “How do you want the change? Two nines or three sixes?”

A Blonde Crawls

by

and another …” The sheriff thought for a minute and then said, “Mam … I don’t know how to tell you this, but the only thing even resembling a tree on this road for thirty miles is your air freshener.”

Tom in Hospital

by

“Larry! What is it?!” asked Tom. “I have good news and bad news from heaven.” “What’s the good news?” “There is baseball in heaven after all, but the bad news is you’re pitching on Tuesday.”

20 w rizz pick up lines for him

by
  1. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
  2. “Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
  3. “Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”
  4. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
  5. “Is your dad a boxer? Because you’re a knockout!”
  6. “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got ‘Fine’ written all over you.”
  7. “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber’!”
  8. “Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw.”
  9. “Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”
  10. “Do you have a Band-Aid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.”
  11. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I’m around you, everyone else disappears.”
  12. “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple!”
  13. “Is your dad a baker? Because you’re a cutie pie!”
  14. “Can you lend me a kiss? I promise I’ll give it back.”
  15. “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”
  16. “Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile.”
  17. “If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.”
  18. “Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a strong connection.”
  19. “Is your smile from McDonald’s? Because I’m lovin’ it.”
  20. “Excuse me, but I think you dropped something: my jaw.”