What’s better than a hilarious joke? A hilarious joke that’s filled with smut and innuendo, of course. And have we got some great dirty jokes for you.
From naughty gags to close-to-the-knuckle toilet humor, look no further. Short rude jokes, jokes, chat-up lines, Rude knock-knock jokes.
and says “I think this is cum!”
The second one leans down for a
closer look and takes a sniff
and says “I think your right,
it smells like cum too!”
The third jumps right in and
gives the stain a lick and
says “You’re right, it’s definitely
cum. But it’s nobody from this building!”
as a nurse and a lady, in my 20 years in this profession, I haven’t once laughed at a patient. I’ve seen all manners of shapes and sizes, you can trust that I shall remain professional and courteous”
The man, satisfied with her response, dropped his trousers to around his knees, exposing the tiniest penis the nurse had ever seen (no larger than a AAA battery), and with that, she couldn’t contain her laughter.
Instantly and without warning she was rolling around on the floor, tears streaming down her face as she laughed. After about 5 minutes (possibly the longest 5 minutes of the man’s life) she finally managed to stand up and compose herself.
“I’m so terribly sorry sir. Please forgive me, that was wholly unprofessional. Now, what seems to be the issue”
“It’s swollen…”
“No, it’s toothpaste this time.”
scotch and had tons of money in the bank,
and scratched his balls without criticism and left the toilet seat up.
“Now, Charles,” she commands,….
“take off my bra.”
With trembling fingers, he unclasps her bra and pulls it off.
“And now, Charles, my panties. Take them off too.”
He hooks his fingers in the waistband of her panties and slowly,
slowly slides them down to the floor.
“Thank you, Charles,” she says, with a faint smile on her lips.
“Now, if I ever catch you wearing my clothes again, you’re fired!”
Wife- Its my bad luck that I married you. Otherwise a lot of smart men were interested in me.
Husband- Of course, they must have been smart, that’s why they escaped getting married to you!
I am no longer welcome
at that KFC restaurant.
“No. First a Gibson. Then a Fender”
She even gave me head and I ate her ass. To be fair, I had to pull out all the stops. This birthday was special. After all… you only get one quinceanera.
father.” “I know,” I whispered,
“That’s why I poisoned your tea.”
feet sticking out at the end of the bed.
He turned to his wife: “Hey, there are six feet in this bed. There should only be four. What’s going on?”
“You’re so drunk you miscounted,” said the wife. “Get out of bed and try again. You can see better from over there”
The husband climbed out of bed and counted. “One, two, three, four. Damn, you’re right”
A few minutes later, the wife got horny and asked her lover to continue. The man was too scared so the woman said, ” He is so messed up I’ll pull out one of his butt hairs and he won’t move a bit”.
So she did – The husband didn’t move an inch, so they continued to make passionate love with the husband right beside them.
A couple of hours later, she repeats the process – the husband is still passed out – they get busy and messy once again.
Then Just before dawn, the wife wants one more ride. So she reaches over and plucks a third ass hair! Whereupon the husband
looks at the lover and says,” I don’t mind you screwing my wife but do you have to keep score on my ass??
Mickey, visibly upset and very emotional response to the
judge: “No, No, No Your Honor. I don’t want to divorce
Minnie because she’s crazy, I want to divorce Minnie because she’s fuckin’ Goofy!”.
