Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

where he is. The usher became impatient with the man says “Sir, if you don’t get up, I will need to get my manager involved” Again the man just groans, which infuriates the usher
as he marches off to get the manager.

In a few moments he returns with the manager and they both repeatedly attempt to
move him, but with no success. It was at this point that the manager calls the police.

Moments later, a police officer arrives and
approaches the man, “alright buddy, what’s your name?”Sam” the man moans.

“And where ya from Sam?”
With pain in his voice, Sam replied “the balcony”

PAPPU : Maybe it’s…
wrong. but you asked me how i spell it.

The people were very upset and decided to ask the rabbi, who was very wise, what to do.

They told the rabbi what was happening; “Whenever the bull approaches our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. An approach from the side and she just walks away to the other side.” The rabbi thought about this for a minute and asked, “Did you buy this cow from Alberta?” The people were dumbfounded. They had never mentioned where they had gotten the cow. “You are truly a wise rabbi. How did you know we got the cow from Alberta?”

The rabbi answered sadly, “My wife is from Alberta.”

she looked out the window and sure
enough there was a box gift-wrapped

in the middle of the driveway. Confused,
the wife put on her robe and ran out to

the driveway, brought the box back in
the house. She opened it and found a

brand new bathroom scale. Bob
has been missing since Friday.

The guy says, “I’ll be behind the couch.”

never thought of that!” *Hangs up
Edit: Thankyou for the awards kind strangers!
Cheers from the land down under!

phones the second woman’s husband, furious: “My wife came home last night
without her panties!”
“That’s nothing,” says the other. “Mine came back with a card stuck
between her butt cheeks that said, ‘From all of us at the fire station,
we’ll never forget you.'”

“S.h.i.t.”, just as slowly.
Exasperated, she laughs and says, “TGIF
stands for Thank God It’s Friday!, Silly!”
The man replies, “I know that but Sorry Honey,
It’s Thursday.”

this place is nice and toasty.”

Satan, annoyed, storms away and goes to Hell’s boiler room, where he turns up the temperature.

He goes back to the Canadians’ room, along the way being begged by all sorts of people to put the
heating back down. He enters the room to see the Canadians having a barbecue. Furiously, he asks them what they’re doing.

“Well, we can’t pass up this wonderful weather without getting out the barbecue!”

Satan realizes he’s been doing the wrong thing. He goes to the boiler room and turns it down until it’s at a colder temperature than ever seen on earth.

He knows he’s won now, so he goes back to the Canadians’ room, only to see them jumping up and down in excitement.

He shouts at them in fury, “WHY ARE YOU STILL HAPPY?!?!?!”
They look at him and shout at the same time, “Hell froze over! That means the Leafs won!”

to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,”
the boy said. “There was a
bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

for one. The king said to him,
“I always knew you were my most loyal knight!”
He replied, “It wath nothing, your magethy”

of a gentleman, you would lift
your hat to a lady.” He replies,

“If you were any sort of a sexy lady,
the hat would lift by itself.”