Funny Jokes Hilarious Adult Humor

has a stroke. The second lady
also has a stroke, but the
third lady was sitting too far away.

She was confused and asked “What bloody difference does that make?”
To which I replied promptly, “If it’s male it’s solicitor, if it’s female it’s secretar

“Damnit Sharon, I’ve
already got the collar on!”

Husband throwing knives on wifes picture:-
All were missing d target:-O
Suddenly he received call from her:-
“Hi, what are you doing?”
His honest reply:-
“MISSING YOU”

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, “Mother of Six” in spite of her objections.

One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well. He shouts at the top of his voice, “Shall we go home, Mother of Six?”

His wife, irritated by her husband’s lack of discretion, shouts right back, “Any time you’re ready, Father of Four.”

Somehow the professor heard about the protest.
In the next lecture,in the beginning of the lecture he said : “in Sweden a prostitute makes $2000 per night.”
All the women stood up and started to leave the class. So he shouted after them :
“Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn’t take off until the afternoon. “

God smiles serenly and answers:
“Yes, my son, please tell it to me.”

The jew grins and says: “How do you
get the number of a girl in Auschwitz?
You look on her arm!”

God doesn’t laughs, instead, he looks
rather shocked.

The survivor shrugs with his shoulders.
“Eh, I guess you had to be there.

–And ……

Once again, they tie his hands behind the chair and begin torturing.4 hours go by and the spy isn’t talking. Then 8 hours, then 16 and after 24 hours they give up and throw him back into the cell.

The German and French spy are impressed and ask him how he managed to not talk.

The Italian spy says, ” I wanted to, but I couldn’t move my hands.”

two bullets to the man and says, “Here are two bullets.
I’ll give you this scope for nothing if you take these
two bullets, shoot my wife’s head off and shoot the guy’s dick off.”

The man takes another look through the scope and says, “You
know what? I think I can do that with one shot!”

house gets $75.” So he leaves. At the second house, he’s told a girl costs $100 “What’s the split?” ” House gets $60, girl gets $40″ So he leaves At the third house he’s told a girl will cost $100 “What’s the split?” ” girl gets $75, house gets $25″

” hot damn! That’s a price a working man can live with! ” Looking over the room, he sees a blonde with big tits giving him a look. So he runs over, grabs her by the arm, and starts to head upstairs. The Madame stops him and points over at a woman in her 70s with bad skin, stringy hair, and one good tooth. “Not so fast! Darlene has seniority.”

has a snatch just like a woman. Harry gets back in the car, turns to his wife and says,
“It’s just not fair. Here’s this farmer with a cow that has a snatch like a woman and
it’s worth $5,000, and here I am, with you, with a snatch like a cow, and you’re not worth shit.

To t‌‌hat t‌‌he p‌‌ilot s‌‌ays, “‌‌Why d‌‌on’t y‌‌ou a‌‌ll j‌‌ump o‌‌ut t‌‌he w‌‌indow a‌‌nd m‌‌ake t‌‌he w‌‌hole c‌‌ountry h‌‌appy?

To see if he really does love her, the father asks “And why is that?”

The guy lets out a long-drawn-out sigh… “Well, it is just that mine
have gotten tired.”

trying to talk me into having
s*x instead of jumping off this ledge!”
The guy gets fed up and walks away..
“Where you going ?” asks the lady?
“I’m just gonna go wait for you at the bottom…”