Story Teller

When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard

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his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, “Ah, yes, that’s Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, being played backwards.”

He listened a while longer, and said, “There’s the Eighth Symphony, and it’s backwards, too. Most puzzling.” So the magistrate kept listening; “There’s the Seventh… the Sixth… the Fifth…”

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, “My fellow citizens, there’s nothing to worry about. It’s just Beethoven decomposing.”

When Doctor Feel Guilty

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that said: “Mike, don’t worry about it. You aren’t the
first medical practitioner to sleep with one of your
patients, and you won’t be the last. And you’re single.
Just let it go, Mike.”

But invariably another voice in his head would bring
him back to reality, whispering:

What’s wrong with you Mike, you’re a veterinarian.

When Little Johnny Talk Like An Adult

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but let’s talk like an adult,
remember? “My family enjoyed a
fine bowl of macaroni and cheese” –.
do you see? OK, Becky, you try: What pets do you have?

Becky: My mommy has a kitty and my daddy has a bunny.
Mrs. Smith: That’s great, but as an adult, remember?

“My mother has a cat and my father has a rabbit.”
Little Johnny, you try: What did you do for fun last night?

Little Johnny thinks hard and replies
Well, my mommy and my daddy and me all watched Winnie the Shit

When Blind man order a dirty fork

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A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork.
He returns to the blind man’s table and hands it to him.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath.
“Ah, yes, that’s what I’ll have — meatloaf and mashed potatoes.”

Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen.
The cook happens to be the owner’s wife.

He tells her what had just happened.
The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again.
“Sir, remember me? I’m the blind man.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you.
I’ll go get you a dirty fork.”

The owner retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.
After another deep breath, the blind man says,

That smells great. I’ll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli.”
Walking away in disbelief,

the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife
that the next time the blind man comes in he’s going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the
kitchen. He tells his wife, “Mary,
rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man.”

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down,
the owner is ready and waiting.

“Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and
I already have the fork ready for you.”

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says,
“Hey I didn’t know that Mary worked here.”

When Father and mom Get Divorced

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sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Leeds and tell her.”

The son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone. “Like heck they’re getting divorced!”she shouts, “I’ll take care of this!”

She calls Ireland immediately, and screams at her father, “You are NOT getting divorced. Don’t do a single thing until I get there. I’m calling my brother back, and we’ll both be there tomorrow. Until then, don’t do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?” and hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone and turns to his wife. “Sorted! They’re coming for Christmas – and they’re paying their own way”