Story Teller 
is for college boys. One for Friday, one for Saturday and one for Sunday.”
“I see, what about the 6-pack?”
“That one is for young bachelors. Twice on a Friday, twice on a Saturday, and twice on a Sunday.”
The boy’s eyes widened as he asked, “And what about the 12-pack?”
“The 12-pack is for married men. One for January, one for February, one for March…..”
“Thank you so much” she said, “Where is it?”
I said, “I’ve just told you, on the floor
outside McDonald’s.”
a harness out of the bag, instructing the guy to install it on the tree and help her to get “in position”. They have weird but awesome love, and when they’re done he lifts her from the harness, sits her on the wheelchair and helps her get inside her home. As he is walking away the door opens again, and he sees the father of the girl calling him. He starts walking a little faster trying to get away from the angry dad, but he keeps calling him, and at the end he stops, bracing himself. The dad catches up to him, and tells him “Every Saturday morning I wake up to my naked daughter hanging from a tree, I just wanted to thank you for helping her get inside the house”
up the driveway when the dad steps in a pile of dog poop.
“SHIT!” He exclaims.
The little boy asks, “Daddy whats shit?”
Dad points to his shoe.
Sometime later, the boy goes upstairs to the bathroom to see his
dad shaving. He accidentally cuts himself and yells. “NUTS!”
“Daddy? Whats nuts?”
Dad points to his face.
Boy finally goes into this kitchen to see his mother stuffing a turkey.
She drops some of the stuffing on the floor and yells “FUCK!”
“Mommy? Whats fuck?”
She points at the dropped stuffing.
Sometime later, there is a knock on the door. Its a cop that is
investigating a rash of local crime, interviewing the neighbors.
The little boy answers the door and gleefully says
“Howdy Bastard! Wipe your shit on the mat. Dads upstairs shaving his nuts.
Moms in the kitchen fucking a turkey.!”
mummy a baby ?”
“yeh I did son, that’s right why do you ask…?”
“well don’t give her another, she ate the last one!”
confused “the sign back there says 10.”
“You’re mistaken ma’am, that sign was to tell you that this is route 10, the limit here 60.”
“Oh, my” says the woman very embarrassed, “I am so sorry, I will pay closer attention to the signs.”
At this point the police officer notices the other passengers in the car: three more elderly women,
all very pale and wide-eyed, clutching the armrests with white-knucked hands.
“Ma’am” he asks “are your passengers alright? They look quite shaken.”
“Oh, they’ll be fine, dear” says the elderly woman “we just turned off of route 250.”
in cherry trees.
What is the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries.
his mouth and somehow swallowed it whole.
The bartender looked at the guy and said, “Did you see what your monkey just did?”
“No, what?”
“He just ate the cue ball off my pool table – whole!”
is something missing in his bowl of soup.
The owner asks whether it is too spicy or
sweet or salty. When the food critic says
no, the owner decides to taste the soup
himself but he can’t find the spoon.
“Yeah,” says the critic, “that’s what is missing.”
had I not realized that it
was the singer Adele.
asked the son where his father was.
The boy shocked us by saying,
“That man was not my father. He just told
me that if I wanted to get a free haircut
at the barbershop, I should come with him.”
to his problems and told him that
he should really visit a therapist
instead of a doctor.
The mosquito replied, “Yeah, I know.
I just came in because of the blood.”
dance with the girl. The girl wanted
to have some apple punch so the boy
went to get it, but to his surprise,
there was no punch line.
car passing the neighborhood, so he stopped it to ask for help.
When the police officer asked him for his name, he replied,
“Mind Your Own Business!” Feeling insulted, the police officer
still asked politely who he was looking for. Mind Your Own Business
replied, “I am looking for Trouble!”
that it was a miracle, he disagreed
and told me, “Son, I had just fallen
from the first step of the ladder.”