A blonde and a redhead have a ranch.

and finds one for $499. Having only one dollar left, she goes to the telegraph office and finds out that it costs one dollar per word. She is stumped on how to tell the blonde to bring the truck and trailer. Finally, she tells the telegraph operator to send the word “comfortable.” Skeptical, the operator asks, “How will she know to come with the trailer from just that word?” The redhead replies, “She’s a blonde so she reads slow: ‘Come for ta bull.'”

A professor said that

single language, not one, in
which a double positive can
express a negative.”
A voice from the back of the
room piped up, “Yeah, right.”

Kung Fu Student Asks his Teacher

setting sun, and their wings seeming like flames?”
“Yes, my master, I have.”
“And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones without taking anything out of its proper place?”
“Yes, my master, I have witnessed it.”
“And the moon… when it touches the calm water to reflect all its enormous beauty?”
“Yes, my master, I have also seen this marvelous phenomenon.”
“That is the problem. You keep watching all this shit instead of training.”