Story Teller

Once Wife Goes to PALM Reading Astrologer

Astrologer :- Do You Want to Know Your Husband Future

Wife:- Rubbish I Will Decide His Future!! You Tell Me His PAST

about this quietly.

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When they get to the front gates of the school, the kid says “Dad,
you will remember to come and get me when I’m 18, won’t you?”3

how the hell did you know that?
The girl says…Cos you’re an ugly bastard!

“84! How did you figure that?”
St. Peter responds, “We added up your client billing timesheets.”

clock?” asked John.
“It’s in the office,” replied God.
“We use it as a fan.”

women turned towards me and snarled “It’s Wales, dumb**!”
“Oh, I’m really sorry!” I said. “Are you whales from Scotland?”

Type and color dress are you looking for?”
The bride-to-be said, “A long frilly
white dress with a veil.”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, madam,
but such dresses are usually more fitting for
the first-time bride who is more innocent in

the ways of life if you get my meaning.” “Well
“replied the customer, a little peeved at
the clerk’s directness,

“I can assure you that a white gown would be
entirely appropriate. Believe it or not,
despite all my marriages,

I remain as innocent as a first-time bride. You
see, my first husband was so excited about
our wedding,

he had a heart attack due to an unknown congenital
condition as we were checking into our
honeymoon hotel.

My second husband and I got into such a terrible
fight in the limo on our way to our honeymoon

hotel that we had the wedding annulled immediately!
We’ve never spoken to each other again.”

“What about your third husband?” “That one was a
Liberal”, said the woman,

“and every night for four years, he just sat on
the edge of the bed and told me how good it was
going to be, but nothing ever happened.”

A man walks in a bar with his iphone… He suddenly realises he needs to fart. He logs into Itunes and ups the volume thinking ‘the music is loud no one will hear’ So he farts… When he looks around, everyone’s staring at him Then he realises… He was listening to his iphone with headphones.

(after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president’s office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, ‘$165,000’ The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets.
The president was surprised and asked, ‘What kind of bets?’

The elderly woman replied, ‘Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.’ The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.
The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, ‘Would you like to take my bet?’

‘Certainly’, replied the president. ‘I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.”Done’, the elderly woman answered’But given the amount of money involved, if you don’t mind I would like to come back at 10 ‘ clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.

‘No problem’, said the president of the Bank confidently. That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

The next morning at exactly 10 o’clock the elderly woman arrived at the president’s office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president’s testicles were square.

The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.
The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them.
‘Of course’, said the president. ‘Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.’

The elderly woman did so with a little smile. Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall.
He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, ‘Oh, it’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o’clock this morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Ireland .’

maximization principle and carry all the items you need in one trip,
thereby minimizing total distance traveled?”

Well don’t you know, she loved my suggestion!
It used to take her 11 minutes to make her breakfast… now I do it in 5.

from school the next day the girl tells her mother
‘I am the smartest student in my maths class!

I can count up to 15! Everyone else stopped at
about 5’ ‘Well done’ replies the mother again.

‘That’s because you’re blonde.’ The following day,
the girl says to her mother.
‘Mum, today we measured our chests in class

and mine is the largest! Is that because I’m blonde?’
‘No darling, that’s because you’re 18.’

then two weeks !!! When asked that did he miss
his wife so much ? he replied miserably:No My wife missed the bus!!

her. He thanked the Lord for this very loving
woman and said,

“Lord, they’re finally together.” One
mourner leaned over

and quietly asked her friend,
”What do you think he means her first,

second or third husband?” The friend replied,
“I think he means her legs.