very upset. His secretary was
surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
Best Time to Ask Anuthing
Story Teller
The Other Morning at 3 a.m
my bed. My legs were still very wobbly. I stumbled too hard and tried to grab the bathroom cabinet for support. I accidentally pulled it open and fell to the ground. Our entire stock to toilet paper fell out of the cabinet on top of me. Later I told my girlfriend about it. I let her know my legs were bruised and she thought I was telling her the toilet paper bruised my legs. ‘It’s probably nothing to worry about,” she said. “Just a bit of tissue damage.”
When Wife Checked Her Husband’s Loyalty
best friend?”
“I’d say you’re a lesbian!”
Two Nuns on Bikes
nun says, “Yeah, it’s the cobblestone”.
Wife Try to Change Husband
“Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market.” “Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically,” remarked his friend. “I’m not bitter. Now that I’m so improved, she just isn’t good enough for me.”
Mahakal Status in Hindi – महाकाल स्टेटस
टक्कर लेना तो दूर, सोचना भी मत क्योकि ये बन्दा महाकाल का भक्त है ।
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मंजिले मुझे छोड़ गई, रास्तो ने पाल लिया हैं…
जा जिंदगी तेरी जरुरत नही, मुझे बाबा महाकाल ने सम्भाल लिया हैं.
उनका बिगड़ता ..नहीं कोई काम….जो लेते है शिव ..शंकर का नाम…
रुद्रो में मैं शंकर हूँ,..शस्त्रधारियों में मैं राम हूँ,
मैं ही चंद्र, मैं ही सूर्य हूँ, ब्रह्म हूँ महाकाल हूँ
जिंदगी थी झंड हम थे थोड़े भंड
शरण लिया जो महाकाल का हर इक पल हुआ है प्रचंड!
वे महाकाल भी कहे जाते हैं और कालों के काल भी। शिव की सृजन का अधिपति
और मृत्यु का देवता भी माना जाता है।
ठंड ऊनको लगैगी जिनके करमो में दाग है”…
हम तो भोलेनाथ के भक्त्त है भैया हमारे तो मूंह में भी आग है…!!
हर हर महादेव
मौत की गोद में सो रहे हैं,
धुंए में हम खो रहे है,
महाकाल की भक्ति है,
सबसे ऊपरशिव शिव जपते जाग रहे है,
सो रहे हैं!
यह कलयुग है यहाँ ताज #अच्छाई को नही #बुराई को मिलता है,
लेकिन हम तो बाबा महाकाल के दीवाने है ,
ताज के नही रुद्राक्ष के दीवाने है
चुम लेंगे वो कलम हम तो जो लिखे नाम महाकाल का
कितने हे वो प्यारे भाई जो लेते हे नाम महाकाल का
महफिल को महादेव सजाते हे आते हे वो #जिनको मेरे
महादेव बुलाते हे जिनका भरी #दुनिया मे कोई
भी नहीं उनको भी मेरे
महादेव सीने से लगाते हे
आँधी तूफान से वो डरते है, जिनके मन में प्राण बसते है
वो मौत देखकर भी हँसते है, जिनके मन में महाकाल बसते है… जय महाकाल
महाकाल वो हस्ती है, जिससे मिलने को दुनियाँ तरसती है और
हम उसी महेफिल में रोज बैठा करते है…
काल का भी उस पर क्या आघात हो।
जिस बंदे पर महाकाल का हाथ हो।।
बस कृपा बनी रहे मेरे महाकाल की..
चिंता नही है काल की।।
किसी ने कहा लोहा हैं हम किसी ने कहा फौलाद हैं हम, वहां भाग दौड मच गई जब हमने कहा महाकाल के भक्त हैं हम !
अकाल मृत्यु वो मरे , जो काम करे चांडाल का ,
काल उसका क्या बिगारे जो भक्त हो महाकाल का
खुल चूका है नेत्र तीसरा शिव शम्भू त्रिकाल का
इस कलयुग में वही पार लगेगा जो भक्त होगा महाकाल का
महाकाल तेरी कृपा रही तो
एक दिन अपना भी मुकाम होगा ।
70-80 लाख की Audi Car होगी और
Front शीशे पे महाकाल तेरा नाम होगा ।
मेरे जिस्म जान में भोलेनाथ नाम तुम्हारा है,
आज अगर मैं खुश हूँ तो यह एहसान भी तुम्हारा है!
थामा हुआ है हाथ मेरा आपने मुझको मालूम है,
मेरे हर पल हर लम्हे में मेरे भोलेनाथ, प्यार तुम्हारा है
जय महाकाल
तू रूठा रूठा सा लगता है, मेरे महाकाल
कोई तरकीब बता मनाने की मैं
ज़िन्दगी गिरवी रख दूंगा हे बाबा तू
क़ीमत बता मुस्कुराने की..
अपने जिस्म को इतना न सँवारो
इसको तो मिट्टी में ही मिल जाना है
सँवारना है तो अपनी रूह को सँवारो
क्योंकि उस रूह को ही महाकाल के पास जाना है।
कृपा जिनकी मेरे ऊपर, तेवर भी उन्हीं का वरदान है, शान से जीना सिखाया जिसने “महाँकाल” उनका नाम है!
दिखावे की मोहब्बत से दूर रहता हूँ इसलिए महाकाल के नशे मे चूर रहता हू !!हर हर महादेव
Jokes Hilarious Funny Humour
- “I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re going and hook up with ’em later.”
- “Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here. This is the war room.”
- “My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you’re a banana.”
- “Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
- Bob: “Looks like you’ve been missing a lot of work lately.”Peter: “I wouldn’t say I’ve been missing it, Bob.”
- I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey! The sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He Said, “Yes, but not in a row!”
- Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck! Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all get 7 years bad luck! Condom: Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)
- Yo mama so fat, she doesn’t need internet, she’s already worldwide.
- Teacher: How much is a gram? Tyronne: Uhmm, depends on what you need
- Some guy called me a tool. So I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend. Guess he was right.
- Why are frogs always so happy? They eat what ever bugs them
- I went down the street to a 24-hour grocery store. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, “Hey! The sign says you’re open 24 hours.” He Said, “Yes, but not in a row!”
- Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry
- I couldn’t figure out why the baseball kept getting larger. Then it hit me.
- Beer Bottle: You break me, you get 1 year of bad luck!Mirror: You kiddin’ me? You break me, then y’all get 7 years bad luck! Condom: Hahaha… (Condom walks off laughing)
An Optician Girlfriend
I said “If you think she’s gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend.”
He said, “Why? Is she a stunner?”, I said “No, she’s an optician.”
A Woman Hit a Nearby Man
a doctor and reluctantly he agrees. She gently moves
his hands to his sides and unzips his pants and puts
her hands inside. She massages him tenderly for a few
minutes and asks: “How does it feel?”
He replies: “It feels great but I still think my thumb is broken”.
When Three Aged Brothers live Together
“Was I going up the stairs or coming down?”
The 92 year old was sitting at the kitchen table having coffee listening to his brothers.
He shakes his head and says, “I sure hope I never get that forgetful.”
He knocks on wood for good luck. He then yells, “I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.”
The Hotel Has A Funny Story Of Three Writers
They started to climb the stairs, and Al started to tell funny stories. By the time they reached the 25th floor, Ben and Carl were laughing hysterically.
Then Ben started to tell scary stories. By the time they reached the 50th floor, Al and Carl were hugging each other in fear.
Then Carl started to tell sad stories. “I’ll tell my saddest story of all first,” he said. “There once was a man named Carl who left his hotel room key in the car…”
Old Man With young BeautifulWife
were 50?” his friends ask. John shakes his head no.
“There is no way she could believe you were 40”. John shakes his head again.
“So how old did you tell her you were exactly??”
John smiles and says “85”.