Story Teller 
of the SS says “Mr President, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is we’ve done a dna test on the urine, and found the culprit.
It turns out it’s Mike Pence’s.” “That traitor”, shouts Trump. “I’ll have him hanged! Now, what did you say was the bad news?”
“Well”, says the SS chief, “turns out it’s Melania’s handwriting”.
“Because I want to feel
something hard for a change.”
bright colors?” “It also makes me less
likely to be shot.”
The rising costs of Diesel and petrol across the nation and the growing awareness of the impact on the environment caused by burning these fuels have led to many people looking for alternatives to the fuel they use. The most preferred option that people are making is compressed natural gas (CNG). Many people are choosing CNG because it is easily retrofitted to the existing diesel or petrol cars and the filing times for CNG are extremely fast. Before you get your car CNG certified, let us know what you can do to get your car CNG Certified.
The transition to CNG to fuel your vehicle requires lots of paperwork. It is necessary to submit the following documents to the nearest Road Transport Office (RTO):
After the submission of documents, the RTO officer will verify the CNG kit including the CNG Certificate and other documents submitted. There are Rs 750 charges for endorsing CNG kits in RTO along with road tax charges which vary according to the state.
to the mast, I escaped by gnawing my own hand off.”
The bartender was growing skeptical. “And how did you get that eyepatch?”
The pirate took another swig. “Twas a mutiny. My own crew left me marooned on a desert island. But I had no fear.
I lay down on the sand to wait to be rescued. As I looked up, a seagull flew over and pooped in my eye.”
The bartender said, “That’s ridiculous, no one loses an eye from bird muck.”
The pirate finished his ale in one gulp and grimaced. “Twas the first day with the hook.”
her and says I bet your underwear is blue. His teacher smiles and says no and lifts up her skirt to show she is not wearing any underwear. Johnny smiles and says my dad will pay you the 25 dollars.
The teacher shows up to Johnny’s house and talks to his dad and tells him that Johnny did not correctly guess her underwear color because she was not wearing any.
His dad says that fucker just won a 100 dollar bet with me about seeing your pussy.
I took his penis in my hand.”
The priest says: -Do not be ashamed, child. Say a Hail Mary, was your hands in the holy water. and all will be forgiven.”
The fourth nun cuts infront of the third nun. The third min cuts back infront of the fourth nun. The fourth nun tries to cut infront of the third nun again and they get into a hair pulling fight.
The priest sees the commotion and yells: “Sisters, stop this at once! What has come over You?!”
The fourth nun points to the third nun and says: “I want to gargle the holy water before she washes her ass in it!”
••
Camilla decided to accompany her husband and as the couple neared the hooker’s corner he became even more apprehensive than usual. Sure enough, there she stood. He tried to avoid eye contact as she watched the pair pass.
Then, the hooker yelled “See what you get for five pounds, you cheap bastard!
and just sit there awkwardly. The woman speaks up and says “I’m a prostitute
and its going to be 100 dollars for my service.” The man is stunned and saddened
that she didn’t really like him. He gives her the money and she tells him that
she is ready to leave and the man replies “I’m a taxi driver and its going to be
150 dollars for the ride here and back.”
After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.
‘I realize it’s terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I’m recently widowed,’ she explained. ‘I’m afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.’
‘Don’t worry,’ John said. ‘We’ll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we’ll be gone at first light.’ The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.
Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.
But about nine months later, John got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.
He dropped in on his friend Keith and asked, ‘Keith, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about 9 months ago?’
‘Yes, I do.’ Said Keith.
‘Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?’
‘Well, um, yes!,’ Keith said, a little embarrassed about being found out,’I have to admit that I did.’
‘And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?’
Keith’s face turned beet red and he said, ‘Yeah, look, I’m sorry, buddy. I’m afraid I did.’ ‘Why do you ask?’
She just died and left me everything.’
(And you thought the ending would be different!)
closer, he realized it was. He approached her.
He said, “Ma’am, do you understand your right breast
is hanging out of your shirt?” She replied, “Oh shit.
I left the baby on the bus!”
It must be miles away by now.””No, you don’t understand!”
answers the doctor, “I’ll put
some cream on the place you were stung.”
“Oh! It happened in the garden in back of my house.”
“No, no, no!” says the doctor getting frustrated, “I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting you.”
“On my finger!” screamed the man in pain. “The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts.”
“Which one?” the doctor.
“How am I supposed to know? All bees look the same to me!”
