Story Teller

Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, “Did Santa get you that?” “Yes,” replies the little girl. “Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!” and fines her $5. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, “Nice horse you’ve got there, did Santa bring you that?” The cop chuckles and replies, “He sure did!” “Well,” says the little girl, “Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it!”

“Well, that means…”
“It’s pasture bedtime!”

what she’s trying to say.

The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver: “He’s just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother.” A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. “Sorry I took so long” he says. “Stupid b!tch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her a*s downstairs and tossed her in the back yard! She better not crap in the vegetable garden again either!”

The Gunman repeats this 5 times and asks the same for the 6th time.
Driver: “Sir, shoot me if you must but there’s no way I can get hard again”
Gunman turns his head and says, “Gloria you can come out now”
A beautiful 18 year old comes out of the house on the side of the road.
Gunman: “This is my daughter. Please give her a ride to the next town. Thank you.”

Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you’re fucked.

you mean?” She said, “I’m a man.”

Slightly Embarrassed And With A Quick Smile To The Bus Driver, She Reached Behind Her To Unzip Her Skirt A Little, Thinking That This Would Give Her Enough Slack To Raise Her Leg. Again, She Tried To Make The Step Only To Discover She Still Couldn’T. So, A Little More Embarrassed, She Once Again Reached Behind Her To Unzip Her Skirt A Little More. For The Second Time, Attempted The Step, And Once Again, Much To Her Chagrin, She Could Not Raise Her Leg. With A Little Smile To The Driver, She Again Reached Behind To Unzip A Little More And Again Was Unable To Make The Step.