Story Teller

Woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear,” she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth. “I think you’re bad luck…”

picture, and
she’s hideous. The guy’s never seen anything like her.

The president says, “I know, she’s tough to look at. I could never tell her to her face, though. Also, it’s only fair to let you know she’s as dumb as a stump.”

The guy says, “Well, I don’t care what you offer me, it ain’t worth it.”

The president says, “I’ll give you a five million dollar salary, a new Mercedes every two years, and I’ll build you a mansion on Long Island.” The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when they have sex.

About a year later, the guy buys an original Van Gogh and he’s about to hang it on the wall. He climbs the ladder and yells to his wife, “Bring me a hammer.”

She mumbles, “Get the hammer. Get the hammer,” and she brings it to him.

The guy says, “Get me some nails.”

She mumbles, “Get the nails. Get the nails,” and she brings them to him.

The guy starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his thumb, and he yells, “Fuck!”

She mumbles, “Get the bag. Get the bag.”

ohn asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”

she asks.
“No,” he says. “But it kept me from coming too fast.”

“MOM!! I’ll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!”
She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.
“Who was that?”
“My son.”
gasp “The doctor??”
No, the other one.”

Teacher and her 3 boy students: Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 1: “I saw a strap of your bra.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one week.” Boy 2 laughed… Teacher: “Why did you laugh?” Boy 2: “I saw your bra straps.” Teacher: “You are punished to stay out of school for one month.” Teacher bent down to pickup a chalk. Boy 3 started walking out of the class… Teacher: “Why are you leaving?” Boy 3: “I think my school days are over.”

A man gets “I love you” tattooed on his pen**s…
He goes home and tears his pants off, eager to show his girlfriend.

She looks at him and shakes her head saying “there you go again trying to put words in my mouth”.

What is Cord Blood and how it is stored?

When a baby is born, there is some blood stored in the placenta and umbilical cord of the child. This blood is called Cord Blood and it is collected to preserve for future use because it has stem cells. Stem cells are very efficient in treating hematopoietic and genetic disorders. These stem cells are the same as those cells which help in the development of baby’s organs, immune system, tissues etc while the baby is in mother’s womb. After the childbirth, the umbilical cord is cut and the cord blood is collected.

• The collection of the Cord Blood is a very safe process for both the mother and the baby.
• If parents want their babies Cord Blood to be saved then they ask the doctor to do so.
• Your treating doctor will attach the umbilical cord in two different places with 10 inches of space in between.
• Then, with the help of a syringe, the doctor will be able to collect approximately 40 milliliters of Cord Blood.
• The collected blood is put in a sealed bag to send it to the cord blood bank for testing and preservation.

jumped infront of him. In order to scare the Lion, the Hunter used the Umbrella like a Gun, and shot the Lion, then it died!
Guy : Nonsense! Someone else must have shot the Lion..
Doctor : Good! You understood the story. Next patient please..

the man finally gets up and says,
“Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!”

The woman says, “Me too, you’ve
been eating grass for
the past ten minutes!”

“No but it will keep the sheets off his legs!”