Story Teller 
After a while the boat started sinking. The
Sailor asked the Professor, do you know
swiminology & escapology from sharkology?
The professor said no.
Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will
eat your assology, headology & you will
dieology because of your mouthology.
more curious. Over the course of the evening while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there’s more between him and his roommate.
Reading his mom’s thought, his son volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, we are just roommates.”
About a week later, his roommate came to him saying, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the silver plate. You don’t suppose your mother took it, do you?”
He said, “Well I doubt it, but l’ll email her just to be sure! He sat down and wrote, Dear mom, After your visit me, the silver plate has been missing. “I’m not saying that you did take the silver plate from my house, and I’m not saying that you don’t take it, but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your son.”
Several days later, he received an email from his mother which read: “Dear Son, I’m not saying that you do sleep with your roommate, and I’m not saying that you don’t sleep with her: but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her OWN bed, she would have found the silver plate by now, under her pillow.
Love,
Mom”
minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me,
ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right
there on the table!” The doctor says, “I’m sorry,we didn’t realize the pill was that strong!
The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages.”
“Nah,” she says, “that’s okay. We’re never goingback to that restaurant anyway.”
the only way out is for them to figure out the specific thing that they all have in common.
How long does it take them/how do they figure it out?
pushes the shot off the table. “Another.”
6.The best day for you in the whole year is April 1 because that’s the day that suits you best.
7. Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position…
8. Interviewer: What is a skeleton?
Sardar: Sir, skeleton is a person who started dieting, but forgot to stop it.
9. A fast beating heart doesn’t always mean love. A blushing face is not always a sign that you’re in love. Sometimes hubog lang! Hahaha
10. Every new year’s I resolve to lose 20 pounds and I do. The problem is that I gain 30.
“Let’s go!” At Stacey’s house, Jim notices a picture of a man on Stacey’s desk and asks, “Is this your brother?” “No, it isn’t, Jim!” Stacey giggles. “Is it your husband?” Stacey giggles even more, “No, silly!” “Then, it must be your boyfriend!” Stacey giggles even more while nibbling on Jim’s ear. She says, “No, silly!” “Then, who is it?” Stacey replies, “That’s me before my operation!”
“Yes I am here my husband”, she says “Kajol, my daughter, are you here”
“Yes I am here father”, she says “Suren, My son, are you here”.
“Yes I am here father”, he says “Well, if all of you are here,
then who is looking after the bloody shop” yells the father.
cart and you get too hot. What do you do?”The student replies “I open the window.”
“Ok. Now that window is 2 feet wide and 3 feet high. The train is traveling 50 mph
going north and the wind is blowing at 15 mph due east. How long will it take for
new air to replace the old air in the cart?”
The student is clearly confused at this impossible question and just answers “I don’t
know”. So the professor gives him an F, dismisses him, and calls in his friend.
He begins asking his friend “you are riding in a train cart and it gets too hot. What do you do? He says “I take my jacket off.”
“Ok. But it’s still too hot. What do you do?”
“I take my shirt off.”
“I understand but it’s very, very hot.”
“I will just get naked.”
“Ok. But there’s a guy in front of you getting a hard-on by watching you strip naked!”
The student replies: “Professor, the entire train can fuck me in the ass I am NOT opening that window!”
The little girl replies, “Because mommy, every time
you leave in the morning, the lady next door comes
over and blows it back up.”
and leaves. The second customer wanders in. The clerk goes over the options with her,
she purchases the black model and is on her way. Her third customer, a little old Polish lady,
comes in some time later.
The clerk describes both options, but the new customer asks “How much for the big red one on
the wall?” The clerk gently explains the difference between the white and black models,
but the customer is adamant about the big red one. When the customer offers the clerk $100, she accepts it.
The boss eventually returns and asks how the day went. The clerk replies “Good! I sold a white d!ld0 for $10,
a black d!ld0 for $20 and your fire extinguisher for $100!”
baby lotion and whipped my cock out.
boxers quickly. The dad looked at me. I said,
“Dad, this is really not what it looks like.”
My Dad replied, “I hope so! Because it looks like
you are mastorbat!ng to a javascript tutorial!”
In disbelief, he asks, “Where did you come from? How did you get here?”
She replies, “I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank.”
“Amazing,” he notes. “You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you.”
“Oh, this thing?” explains the woman. ” I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from an Eucalyptus tree.”
“But, where did you get the tools?”
“Oh, that was no problem,” replied the woman. ” On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron and I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware.”
The guy is stunned.
“Let’s row over to my place,” she says “and I’ll give you a tour.” So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf. As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat.
Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.
While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck.
As they walk into the house, she says casually, “It’s not much, but I call it home. Please sit down.” “Would you like a drink?”
“No! No thank you,” the man blurts out, still dazed. “I can’t take another drop of coconut juice.”
“Oh, it’s not coconut juice,” winks the woman. “I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?”
Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk. After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces,
” I’m going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There’s a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs.
No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.
“This woman is amazing,” he muses. “What’s next?”
When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias. She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.
“Tell me,” she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, “We’ve both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around? She stares into his eyes.
He can’t believe what he’s hearing. “You mean…” he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes,
“You’ve built a Golf Course too?”
