Story Teller

Women Asked for Rome Road Trip Hairstyle

by

little place over on Rome’s Tiber River called Teste.” “Don’t go any further. I know that place.
Everybody thinks it’s going to be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.”
“We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.” “That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser.

“You and a million other people trying to see him. He’ll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours.
ou’re going to need it. “

A month later, the woman came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome.
“It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’s brand new planes,
but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful,
and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on us hand and foot. And the hotel was great!
They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city.

They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the owner’s suite at no extra charge!”.
“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.”

“Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder,
and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if we’d be so kind as to step into his
private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet us. Sure enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked

through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.”
“Oh, really! What’d he say?”
He said: “Who fucked up your hair?”

Boy Had Just Passed His Driving Test

by

a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer and they agreed on it.
After about six weeks his father said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades
up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.”

The boy said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my
studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair,

and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.”
The father responded, “Did you also notice that they all walked everywhere they went?”

Cord Blood Banking Cost and Reviews

by

Table of Contents

What is Cord Blood and how it is stored?

When a baby is born, there is some blood stored in the placenta and umbilical cord of the child. This blood is called Cord Blood and it is collected to preserve for future use because it has stem cells. Stem cells are very efficient in treating hematopoietic and genetic disorders. These stem cells are the same as those cells which help in the development of baby’s organs, immune system, tissues etc while the baby is in mother’s womb. After the childbirth, the umbilical cord is cut and the cord blood is collected.

  • The collection of the Cord Blood is a very safe process for both the mother and the baby.
  • If parents want their babies Cord Blood to be saved then they ask the doctor to do so.
  • Your treating doctor will attach the umbilical cord in two different places with 10 inches of space in between.
  • Then, with the help of a syringe, the doctor will be able to collect approximately 40 milliliters of Cord Blood.
  • The collected blood is put in a sealed bag to send it to the cord blood bank for testing and preservation.

What are the uses and benefits of Cord Blood?

Cord blood is quite helpful in serving a lot of purposes. The stem cells present in it are very efficient in treating the following diseases:

  • Cord blood is useful in treating patients suffering from different types of cancerous bacteria. Patients with blood cancer, lymphomas, leukemia can find treatment for their disease in their own cord blood tissue or if they get a matching stem cells from a related or an unrelated donor.
  • Immune system disorders like sickle cell disease and Wiskott – Aldrich syndrome can also be treated via cord blood tissues.
  • From 30 years, cord blood is being used in transplant medicine curing 80 different diseases. Now its use has extended and clinical research trials have been conducted to find cure for autism and cerebral palsy in cord blood tissues.
  • Recent studies have shown that cord blood can also be used for treating Bone Marrow Failure Syndromes and Metabolic Disorders.
  • Yet another medical use of cord blood is in treating various forms of Anemia. Cord blood transplant can help a great deal in increasing the count of Red Blood Cells (RBCs)/hemoglobin in one’s body.

What is Cord Blood Banking ?

The term ‘Cord Blood Banking’ refers to the utilization of the blood stored in the baby’s umbilical cord. Earlier this blood was not stored and rather it was thrown away. But now, the concept of ‘Cord Blood Banking’ is taking precedence where parents can ask their doctor to keep the Cord Blood of their new born to use the stem cells in it in near future. Parents wanting to store their baby’s cord blood are required to use a cord blood bank which is fully accredited by the American Association of Blood Banks (AABB) such as Viacord.

Cord blood is extremely rich in stem cells that can cure a lot of health disorders. Parents have the choice of storing the cord blood tissues for their own baby or for any family member or they can also choose to donate their child’s cord blood to an unrelated person. There are two types of ‘Cord Blood Banking’ techniques:

  • Allogeneic mode of treatment: In this case, stem cells are received from an unrelated donor.
  • Autologous mode of treatment: In this case, the patient is treated with the help of their own stem cells.

Cost of Cord Blood Banking Information

Public Cord Blood Banking Free of cost
Private Cord Blood Banking $1400 to $2300
Family Cord Blood Banking $90 to $175 (Excluding processing fee)

The cost of Cord Blood Banking varies from public to private cord blood banking. This is shown below:

  • If you’re going for Public Cord Blood Banking, then it is an absolutely free of cost process right from collecting, testing, processing and storing of baby’s cord blood.
  • If you’re going for Private Cord Blood Banking facility, then for collecting, testing and registry of cord blood banking will cost you $1400to$2300. For per year storage, the cost ranges from $95 to $125.
  • Some family cord blood banks charge $1,000 – $3,000 as 1st year processing fee. Blood storing costs ranges from $90 to $175.
  • Various banks have payment plans where parents can choose from a no – interest plan to a long term financing plan with applicable interest rates.

What is Public and Private Cord Blood Banking?

Cord blood can be collected and stored in either public or private blood banks. If you wish to keep or donate your baby’s cord blood, you can talk to your doctor about it just 3 months before you are expected to deliver i.e. between 28th – 34th weeks of pregnancy, the decision should be made in order to avoid last minute hassle.

Public Vs Private Cord Blood Banking

  1. Public Cord Blood Banking involves storing of cord blood for allogenic stem cell transplants. Anyone who founds a matching donor can be treated with cord blood stored in public banks. Few public cord blood banking centers store umbilical cord blood for directed donation which means that if any family member, who has some cancerous disease or immunity related disorder, then they can be treated with their related cord blood donor. A mother donating cord blood to a public bank will be tested and screened first to rule out any genetic disorder or infections. The blood is then ‘typed’ if it is found fit for using.
  1. Private Cord Blood Banking serves the purpose of autologous stem cell transplants. Private cord blood banks reserve the cord blood only for directed donation i.e. for a family member. Thus, it basically means that a family chooses their own family line’s cord blood to get stem cells.
  1. Public cord blood banks hardly charge anything for the storage and maintenance of baby’s cord blood while private banks do keep and annual fee for storage of cord blood.
  1. At a public bank, the whole community can access cord blood but at a private bank, only the members of the family can have access to it.
  1. A private cord blood bank might throw away the infant’s umbilical cord blood if the family says that they do not require it but a public cord blood bank will always keep it for donating.

Can Grandparents and Siblings share Cord Blood?

Yes off course, Cord Blood has such powerful stem cells as can be used for treating any ailing sibling, grandparents or great grandparents or even parents of the child. First and second degree relatives of the kid can use those stem cells and any other relative requires going through screening first in order to confirm to be a perfect match.

  1. Siblings will have a greater potential for cord blood genetic match but still only a perfect 100% match is considered for stem cell transplant.
  2. Half siblings will have less like ability to be a perfect match; whole siblings stand a greater chance.
  3. If a sibling is suffering from any of these diseases, then they can get stem cells from their brother/sister cord blood cells – leukemias, cystic fibrosis, lymphoma, immune system disorders, phagocyte disorders, anemia, bone marrow cancer, hearing loss etc.
  4. Whether or not Grandparents will find a perfect match will depend upon the way genes are passed.

Is Cord Blood Banking worth it?

Like everything else, cord blood banking also have its own set of pros and cons. These are listed below:

Pros of Cord Blood Banking

  1. Cord blood is life saving: The umbilical cord blood tissues are a rich source of stem cells, so they are used for treating patients suffering from certain types of blood cancers, immunity related disorders, anemia. Cord blood has higher chances of matching with the patients who need it rather than the bone marrow blood cells. Scientists are studying and researching for more ways to treat some brain disorders. Clinical trials for autism are in progress at the Sutter Neuroscience Institute in Sacramento, California.
  2. History of successful cord blood transplants: Therapies done using cord blood transplants have proved to be very successful. Joanne Kurtzberg, the director of the pediatric bone marrow and stem cell transplant program at Duke University says, that in the last 10 years, doctors and researchers have studied a lot about dosing cord blood, how to pick up a matching donor and how to give care and support to patients undergoing stem cell transplants. These studies have made recent cord blood transplants way more successful.
  3. Cord blood is easily accessible: Patient’s own cord blood is always accessible if it is stored with a registered public or private cord blood bank. One’s cord blood bank is reserved for family, siblings or any relative suffering from certain kind of disease which is curable via cord blood. You can always go and ask for your cord blood tissues in times of need or you can also choose to donate it to someone who needs it more than you.

Cons of Cord Blood Banking

  1. Cord blood banking is expensive: The cord blood banking cost is very high, especially in private blood banks. Not everyone can afford to pay for it as it goes around $2,300 plus the storage cost per year has to be paid. So, the total cost of it becomes an expensive affair.
  2. Cord blood is disposed in most cases: If your Cord Blood Bank is in a public cord blood bank, then might be considered safe as it can be used to treat a sick child and can prove to be life giver but if we talk about a private cord blood bank, then they might throw it away if the family does no need any longer.
  3. Some diseases remain untreated: Joanne Kurtzberg is of the opinion that cord blood cells can only be used if the child is healthy. In case the child has some genetic disorder, then the cord blood tissues might be of no use to the patient.
  4. No use of cord blood in most cases: The founder and director of Parent’s Guide to Cord Blood Foundation have found out that there are only 1 in 217 chances that a child will need their stem cells. A child whose family has a history of cancerous diseases or some anemic disorders will require a stem cell transplant.

Top 10 Cord Blood Banking Centers Information in the USA

The finest 10 centers in the United States known for providing the best Cord Blood Banking facilities are mentioned below:

Sr No Company Name Location
1 Cryo – Cell Oldsmar, Florida
2 Viacord Cambridge, Massachusetts
3 Cord Blood Registry San Bruno, California
4 LifebankUSA Cedar Knolls, New Jersey
5 Family Cord Los Angeles
6 Carolinas Cord Blood Bank Duke University
7 StemCyte Live Oak Avenue, Balwin Park
8 P. McCarthy Cord Stem Cell Bank Detroit
9 Gencure Texas
10 MD Anderson Cord Blood Bank Houston

The man’s Wife Left him

by

with no questions asked, I’ll pay you $100, that’s all I have.”
The watchman agreed. After that, the man got into his car and left the cemetery in a hurry. He was confused and did not look where he was going and… Before he could realize what was happening, he knocked down another cop. He was even more confused – it’s not every day that you’re lucky enough to hit a cop twice. He needed to pull himself together and figure out what to do.

He came up with an unusually stupid plan: He drove back to the cemetery and quietly threw the second cop to the watchman while he was distracted.
The watchman finished burying the first one, turned around only to see the second cop. “WTF? I swear I buried it??”

Just down the road there was a police post near the cemetery. The cop notices that the same car had travelled back and forth to the cemetery and decided to check what was happening. He drove to the cemetery where the watchman just buried the second cop.
The officer asked him: “What’s going on here?” Only for the watchman hit him on the head with a shovel: “Will you just fucking stay buried?!”

Big thanks to /u/SephariusX and many others who helped improve the joke grammatically

What happen When Thanos came to Earth in 2023

by

They fought, and it was a bloody battle, but Thanos was mighty, and eventually took control of the gauntlet which housed the Stones.
As he shaped to snap his fingers, Thanos smiled, and slowly declared:
“I – am – inevitable.”
Nothing happened.
With a look of surprise and fear on his face, Thanos watched as the man in the red suit lifted his right hand, revealing the real Infinity Stones.
“And we – “, said the man in the red suit, “are…
… the Spanish Inquisition.”
And nobody, not even Thanos, expects the Spanish Inquisition.

When A New Guy Starts Work At A Bakery

by

and soon they are selling like something for which there ought to be a suitable simile when you’re telling a story about a bakery.

On the Wednesday he takes one look at the words “Danish Pastry day” on the rota and immediately bursts into song, turning out tray after tray of beautifully formed and succulent Danish pastries, and on Thursday the excited shriek of “Doughnut day! Yes!!!” heralds an eight-hour shift of doughnuts that God Himself would forgive the sins of a whole world for.

But on Friday:

“I don’t understand it,” says the disappointed supervisor to the master baker. “It’s his cake day and he’s made barely any effort at all.”